YAY! I LUV IT!

*laughs ** off at the bit with the cart race, then cries at the bit with Caitlin*
This story developed so much! At first, I was passively enjoying it as I read but by the end I didn’t want to take time to review. You started to incorporate humor, quick-moving events and well-balanced characters. Your plot really flowed, and only picked up speed by the end of the book. The romance you had here always had me entertained one reason or another. I also liked how you put your characters in realistic situations.
If you don’t mind something random…Oasis by Gackt is such an epic song!
tsubasa o hiroge sora e habataite
yakareru mae ni taiyou ni nare
kaze yo fuke... sora e michibiite
kimi no subete o ubawareru mae ni
Is such a great chorus! I copy and pasted that, so it’s all correct. XD The translation is:
Unfold your wings and take off into the sky
Before you're burned, become the sun
Blow, oh wind... It guides you into the sky
Before everything you have is taken away
Isn’t it beautiful? “Before you’re burned, become the sun” I absolutely love that line. It can apply to so many situations, all kinds of my stories with all kinds of divine redemption and but can also mean something simple like, “act before you lose your chance and feel the pain”. It’s such a lovely song…It reminds me of all kinds of different things…yeah, random…
Anyway, back to Nothing More Than Friends! This is a great book, and after four cheerful hours of reading and reviewing I’m going to start with “Where Do I Stand?” That’s a great title, by the way. :D

Also, every book needs somebody to hate and dislike, having a character like Aunt Lexi that holds that role isn’t anything the somebody should get irritated at the author for. J

Keep up the great work! Lebrezie recommended you to me after I read her More Than Just Friends? and she said you were getting discouraged because of lack of reviews n’ stuff…but you just gotta keep writing! You’ve got a great talent!


The one and only,
Yup, that’s me,
Final Hikari

*takes break from reading after “A weird sister” to start review* *stretches stiff legs from sitting in same position for too long* It’s so weird you picked a name like Caitlin. Why? Because somebody who absolutely hates my guts for pointing spelling errors and making all my favorite FF characters annoying as hell.
*finishes reading* BOOER THE AUNT!
:D Couldn’t resist. “Were Do I Stand?” looks really promising with where you’re leaving off! I’m going to save the huge review for the epilogue.


The one and only,
Final Hikari

Tegami! The Japanese word for letters as you may or may not know, is tegami. *little musical note* *puts Utada Hikaru’s song “Letters” on*
Ah, juda seruri dora mo! So sora demo
Ah, genitjitsunaga wo
Ah, itsumodo gi tegami!
I suck so hard at just copying what I hear. XD I should put the lyrics I copy and pasted on Lappie so I can quote lyrics properly.

*deep breath*
BOO THE AUNT!
*exhales*
Things are getting really interesting now! The story reads so professional now, and even thought you thought there was a lack of plot of a while there, I disagree. Once I get my plan for the setting and characters of a story, I don’t do solid plants and my stories will seem plotless for a while. Thank goodness you have the sequel posted, but I’m going to start poking you for updates! *hurries off to next chapter*

The one and only,
Final Hikari *avidly reading already* *but that question about the first date sounds like something I’d do*

*stretches thigh and leg muscles* Oww. I’m so stiff form jet skiing yesterday… And biking five miles…and running a mile… XD I think I’ll postpone working on Lenneth and just stay home reading and reviewing books, and working on mine… Oh **, I need to go to the library after school hours! Damn…

*starts reading* OO_OO So ironic. My dad is walking around worrying he as a secretary **. XD Also, rambling is WAY fun! :D Haha paranoid for being paranoid. *nods* Yup, I know exactly what you mean… XD Rocket ship print, huh? I’m surprised how easy it is to dislike Pence… Then again after the use of the C word (crush) I think that’s one of the things that made me hate him. It makes me nauseous how passively people treat infatuations. How they go from obsessed, making such a huge deal of it, then just forgetting about it… It’s rather lame, but I’m sour on that subject. A similar stupid crush broke up a of mine friendship a while back. Nearly two years ago…my conception of time is too focused on the present and future: it’s so hard to keep track of the past. >.<

Also, it is Roxas’. Although I’ve learned in modern English it COULD be Roxas’s, but if you stick to old English *hugs “people”, peoples will never be a word in my book!* than it’s Roxas’. The KH2 guidebook said Roxas’s and I flipped out. XD

You were in Japan? COOL! I can’t wait to go myself in a few years! *musical note* I’d need to get at least a 2 GB picture card for Digi (my FinePix Fuji Digital Camera) or however big they’ll be when I’m eighteen. XD Anyway…this chapter is really great! I love the events and how everything is flowing, but I wanna finish reading before I continue the review. XD

Haha! I like the picture. :D I can imagine it very easily; I love the whole Roxas x Naminé thing, so needless to say I’ll enjoy picturing that! Reminds me of a daydream I once had, expect it was with a snow cone and the only thing I could think of is that if you bite into the right part it’s kinda like an indirect kis-*is whacked on head* back to reviewing…

A donkey and a Tiki statue! “Take any tiki.” XD I watched too much Brady Bunch growing up… Sora’s really funny in this story. :D Great chapter! Plotless or not, it’s still a great story. It’s gotten entertaining and funny, so keep it coming!


The Final Hikari

“The two halves were pulling me in different directions” I take this line as a chance to sing one of my favorite songs that nobody likes, mainly because it comes off as such a song aimed for female listeners! “Born in a war of opposite attraction. Is it, or isn’t it a natural conception? Turn by the arms in opposite directions. Is it, or isn’t it a Modernist reaction?” And my favorite ending, “Do you like this? Is it like this? Is it always the same? If you change your phone number, will you tell me? (that line wasn’t snappy but when I think of it I can’t help but wonder if I’d fall into such a situation) Is it like this? Is it always the same? When a heartache begins, is it like this?” and my absolute favorite, “If you like this, will you remember my name? Will you play it again, if you like this…?”

The bit with “will you remember my name?” is just so beautiful…by now after all this randomizing do I need to even say it makes me think of the guy I like? XD Only problem with knowing somebody for two years and never meeting them in person: you can say wo ai ni to them saying off ever day of the year and you’ll never get a reply.

Okay, not, THE CHAPTER! *continues reading* *puts Kremlin Dusk on* >insert musical note emoticon here< I only clean my room for special events. Holidays, when I’m finishing a monumental RPG…like Xenosaga I. I think the last time I did a huge cleaning was in honor of finishing XSI the next day. Yeah, I’m a geek but Xenosaga I is my favorite game of all time.

Oh, and you used “or something” once in two sentences in a row. Might wanna reword that, it’s a bit awkward. It’s not far after the room-cleaning comment. J Just use Find to “or something” and it should pop up if you have the chapters in separate documents.

XD Demyx clogged the toilet? With what, may I ask? XD *is a pervert* *returns to reading* Heh, that bit with “fat **” stuff sure had entertaining after-effects. The current Olette and Naminé situation reminds me a little of-no! No more randomizing! Why do your stories make me randomize so bad? >.<

Anyway, the way you’re portraying the situation n’ stuff has really improved since the start of this book. At first, I thought it was a good story with interesting ideas, but now I’m really enjoying reading it and glancing over at the little boxie thing’s position in the document thinking, “No! Not much left….”

Anyway, great work on this on! Ah, you have somebody that loves to pick things apart? I once showed a story to somebody and she flamed it so bad I never touched it again and didn’t show my work to anybody for six months. Even then, I only e-mail it to my editor and best friend, Mehrina, because no matter how ** my stuff is she always finds something she likes about it before she picks on me for grammar. My advice is to try not letting things like that bother you, there are always @$$holes that will pick any story apart because they have nothing better to do.

Oh, look! A typo! *plays with it*

He brother, her brother, her brother! Why was everything about Pence? Talk about overprotective.

First one is “he brother”, as you can see. J But, I do have one dilemma…I didn’t copy and paste the first chapter…and I forget EXACTLY what Pence did to Naminé. Aside from stalking n’ stuff, that is… ** attack… Oh, look! Better came on! Ever hear of Plumb? She’s one of the few American singers I listen to. Oh, and Linkin Park! I’m dying to buy his stuff! *little musical note emoticon*

I really loved the argument! It was suck an emotional scene and you captured the ideas of it wonderfully. I pictured it easily, and the story is really getting good! I’m really looking forward to getting to “Where Do I Stand?” too! *resumes reading, left off where Naminé’s passes out*

Yay! *musical note* Manic is a really good song… *continues reading the Roxas x Naminé scene* *gets distracted again, prepare for a philosophical rant*

You know, due to my lack of experience I’ve always thought “I like you/I really like” you always sounds so immature and unserious, like something that is doomed to fade away. When I read it, it doesn’t sound like that a lot of the time. But when I imagine myself using such a term, it sounds so pathetic and unserious. And then my mind bounces back to wondering is “wo ai ni” and “aishita” are too advanced. I suppose I just meet it half-way and face my own doubts and apprehensions by being indirect when saying it to the guy I like by saying it in another language. I think I periodically said it to him for, like, a year before I told him the meaning…

I warned you it wouldn’t be one of my usual rants. XD Pending on if I’m depressed or not, my rants usually look that. When I’m cheerful, they’re all “HI CINDY!” and random. XD

*suddenly bursts out laughing* Demyx playing in the fish tank! *laugh ** off* And I was going to say, “That bit with the two hours was really funny!” XD *reads the next sentence* Demyx is victim to so much hilarious humor… I read this one fic where Axel said, “I don’t wanna be anything like a guy that plays guitar in his underwear.” Demyx: You won’t ever forget that, will you? Axel: Not as long as I have it on tape.
*smiles and continues reading* *finishes ending disclaimer* Great chapter! I went into detail with all kinds of stuff and randomizations (haha, I already added that to my Spell Checker!) so I’ll end this here! …Bittersweet just came on and I’m kinda bobbing back and forth in my chair while typing. XD I am a gek. Like the Geek Squad! I was so proud to bring my old (six years old…) PC to the Geek Squad to have it fixed up. Wait……Beastie of the Eastie is turning seven. O_O


The one and only,
Final Hikari who doesn’t have any real sig yet

Good work on the fluffy stuff…n’ stuff! That sounds awkward…ah well. Personally, I really suck at writing fluffy stuff. If you need a fight, a description, some gore, then I’m the woman to ask! …But not when it comes to fluffy stuff…

This chapter had good size, too! Each chapter’s flow moves better. Naminé’s ranting *dances, I make my AutoCorrect put the little thingy over Nami’s e and it stayed in there unlike making it stop capitalizing the I in Ceakoci…hey! It stayed! XD* wasn’t anything annoying-WOAH! R&R means read and review, doesn’t it?! I thought it meant rest and relaxation, and I was confused whenever it popped up in XD

Oh, not that I don’t like your parody-style disclaimers but they’re not really disclaimers… I know a lot of people don’t put ‘em in, but aren’t you supposed to? Just curious. Great work on this chapter! I wanna go read the next one so excuse the short review. J I didn’t spot any spelling errors, did you already fix ‘em?



Yup, that’s me!
The Final Hikari

My random thoughts first: putting baby oil in one’s hair to make it straighter? O_O Interesting… Also, I totally “spazzed” out when the guy I like called me “adorable”. XD

*cringe* Xemnas. I thought he was such a cool bad guy but ever since somebody on the Gamespot forum (over a year ago now…) noticed his name spelled “Ansem X” AND “man sex” I’ve been rather disturbed… He’s still pretty creepy though. Wanna know a line that really stuck with me from the end of KH2? “Darkness and light are eternal. Maybe nothingness is too.” Sorry if I go the lines a little off, I’m replaying KH2 for the first time and I still in the very beginning. >.<

Okay! Proper-haha, look, Riku! He finally got in there. I bet his fan girls reading this one all yelled, “RIKU!” More random…reviewing while reading isn’t recommended all the time. XD The only dancing I do is when I’m being a geek and cranking up Utada Hikari or Gackt and singing the songs I like at the top of my lungs while dancing around my room. I’ve never once attended a party, aside from birthday parties when I was little, nor have I ever danced with a guy. …*is hit on back of head* Alright, I won’t do more random!

Fitting! Sora’s sister is Skye… Oy, I said I wouldn’t be random any more! Anyway, great work on this chapter! I really enjoyed the events, you did good with describing and everything flowed very naturally. Also, the length was refreshing. I think longer chapters gives the events more time to unfold, and as long as it doesn’t stand to drag I like them better and find them more professional. Off to the next chapter with me! I don’t really get what is it, and currently don’t have a fully functioning messenger, but could you e-mail me that special chapter? *hopeful look*

The Final Hikari-yup, that’s me!

God mmorning! *waves enthusiastically* Ah, I love home school! I wake up at six, shower by six thirty, and get done by ten. It doesn’t support staying up late at night, but as long as I get one or two days with sufficient sleep during the week and both days on the weekend I’m good…
Okay! Now that I am typing this offline reading a copy & pasted document, not only an I fresh (and not overly hyper XD) without the worry of parents asking what I’m doing and having a huge fan blowing in my ears, I can review much more professionally… *starts reading*

Now that I’m not on a time limit, long mental rants/rambling don’t bother me in the slightest. That’s how my mind works most of the time when thinking of the guy I like, so I can appreciate how you’ve-wait, you’re a guy. O_O How’d you figure out the way most females’ heads work when on ditz-mode……..?

Haha, she thinks stuffing envelops his hard. I’m working on a Lenneth Valkyrie costume, and try looking down for six hours stitching. O_O Now that’ll give you a super-stiff neck and back. XD Either way, good work on this chapter! I didn’t find any grammatical/spelling errors here, aside from multiple exclamation points n’ stuff but it just comes out so naturally when typing searching for emphasis…*distant look* I bleached myself of using it in stories (not in conversations, just my stories) due to the fact my writing *sucked* when I first started out.

I’m off to the next chapter! I don’t think you need to do the fancy spacing in reviews….*more of the distant look* :D


Final Hikari of No Proper Title

*large yawn* Great work on this chapter! But it's getting late (for six AM risers like me *yawn*) so I'm going to copy and paste this fan fic, and your other one to read offline on my laptop where my parents won't poke me about typing. I should have read and reviewed all of Nothing More Than Friends? and Where Do I Stand? by tomorrow!

As for this chapter, I really enjoyed the events and how you controled the ranting. :) In the beginning I laughed at the "OKAY! I'LL SHUT UP!" n' stuff. Keep the stories coming!


The one and only,
Sleepy,
Final Hikari

Haha! This chapter had some humor mixed in, and not just in the disclaimers! Namine's ranting/rambling only got a bit annoying in the last few paragraphs.

I really like the way you included Organization XI! I never thought of Zexion much. Next time I play CoM I'll make it a point to notice his role in the game and whatnot...

Haha, Demyx is fixing the toilet. I really enjoyed this chapter! I don't think it's awful at all. :) In fact, I'd say this is my favorite so far. Off to the next chapter with me!


Yup, that's me!
Final Hikari

Wow...a rotten banana peel in a rubber glove...what an epic way to descripbe something that sucks! Is it okay if I use that some time? XD I also like the bit with Selphie "hunting" guys. :D

A bit of advice: while my mind probably dashes in circles, up and down, off the walls, and all that when I'm thinking about the guy I like, you might wanna shorten Namine's thoughts a bit.

You have disclaimers! :D A Inu-Yasha fan fic writer that my friend Mehrina recommended to me, which thus made me discover (set up an account, do all the fancy spacing to post my fan fics, etc...) has the most hilarious dilclaimers. XD Your's are funny too, I hope they get longer! Also makes me feel more comfortable about the nutty disclaimers I'm adding to my stuff. XD

Good work on this one! I liked the addition of that song. I think it's a real song, too...I'm into Japanese stuff. >.< If you started quoting a Utada Hikaru or Gackt song I'd either yell, "HIKKI!" or "GAKI!" XD Hopefully I'll reach "Where Do I Stand?" tonight!


The one and only,
Final Hikari

Oh yeah! 70th review! *dances*

I like your narative point! Namine sounds like me: ranting endlessly with too many caps, exclimations points, all kinds of anyway/anyways'...yeah, my little expirence with romance makes me like that. XD ...But I overuse "anyway" just about all the time...

Anyway, err-ima? Ima is Japanese for now. :) I like your writing style, and from reading some of your other stuff I know it's only rant-y when it comes to a character's thoughts, as it should be. This story sounds interesting, I'm off to the next chapter!


The one and only,
Final Hikari





P.S. She thinks Pence is bad...? I had a 70-year-old hitting on me in a chat room once...O_O I had the director of the website block his ** though...

I could shoot you for the way you ended this fic
but then again I'm not one to talk ^^;;
well good story!
i shall now go check out the sequel!