Good first chapter; but I would fix it up abit by capitoling the I, update! :-D

great story,update soon,please!

A little advice: punctuation and capitalization are your friends.

requires that you spellcheck and proofread your work before posting. Every "I" in this is lowercase. In fact, nothing that requires capitalization is capitalized besides names. You also have incorrect punctuation in your dialogue.

Correct:

George said, "Good evening."

"Good evening," said George.

George said, "Good evening," then sat down.

"Ladies and gentlemen," said George, "good evening."

I think you can easily see the difference between what you have and the correct examples I've shown you.

And the boy's name is Higen, not Egan. I'd also suggest watching the film again to get a better sense of their characters, they don't really seem like them to be. Sorry to be blunt, but you need help.

I would like to see where this story is heading. Update soon please.