OH MY GOD.

The plot was GENIOUS. Riza seemed slightly OOC, but otherwise, it was completely perfect. Seriously, I don't know how you writers get so creative. I swear, you should get an award for this or something... my god.

It was HILARIOUS. The part about the alien giving birth... I couldn't breathe because I was laughing so hard. Thank you SO MUCH for writing this; it brightened my whole day.

oh, nice twist! lmao several times!

OMG that was really funny and it was written very well! I liked the idea of Roy and Riza writing the fanfic

Dear Riza H -laughs-,

You're brilliant! I loved the restaurant scenes, very entertaining... The way everyone was in character and at some point had humor was nicely done.

Great Job Riza!

PS: Why on earth did you make Roy lose an eye in the last episodes? You're to trigger happy you hurt the bishouen by shooting him in the dang eye!!

A+K

LOL! That's hilariously genius!

YOUR RIZA HAWKEYE!

Congratulations Riza Hawkeye on a successful and humorous mission. :3
~TwilightZelda

omg. "The alien's giving birth!" that so funny ha haha omg haha

Hello. ^_^ Your first FMA fan-fic write, and my first FMA fan-fic read. One of my long reviews as promised!

Setting: I liked the stack of papers being taller than Ed -- good humor point and Roy could have really rubbed that in if he wanted to, I think. Description of the rest of the setting wasn't mentioned much to give a real sense of "being there" to the reader, but since it was a generic setting, it didn't feel empty without it. You included oddities like stack of books in public setting or door being blow open to draw attention where necessary, so those descriptions were vivid and easy to visualize.

Character: Ed, Al, and Sheska were very in-character with action and attitudes, I think. Dialog felt strange to me at some points, but it's probably because I've never heard the English version so I have trouble "hearing" some of it. :P Reactions seemed right, regardless. Hawkeye I felt would have been more reserved and less likely to laugh. I could view her being tolerant of the joke for Roy's sake, rather than actually enjoying it for her own sake; but the victory at the end of finishing the typing was something I could easily see her doing. Roy I also couldn't picture laughing aloud, but I could imagine him pulling a stunt like this just for the hell of it if he got bored enough. Winry probably could have been more nosey about what was going on and could have twisted the screw a little tighter on Ed and Al in their uneasy situation -- otherwise she is just cameo without purpose. Overall, I enjoyed following everyone's interactions. Well, done. ^_^

Plot: Good original idea! It was interesting and entertaining. Scene changes were smooth and progress moved forward at a good pace without stalling. There were a couple of places where logic left questions for me, like the bribery of information about Scar, but that's because of the ending of the anime series. The ending is exactly what could be expected of Ed and Al getting pissed at Roy -- a good laugh. Good humor throughout, and I like the twist of turning the actual story into a story about itself! Personalizing it as part of the pun was also a nice touch.

Technical Style: Grammar and spelling were very well done. Only one error distracted me from immersive reading, and I'd even hesitate to call it an error. I was pulled out of the story to question it, but then easily shrugged it off as debatable and returned to reading. The only other thing that I found distracting is that for me, personally, it's difficult to read "manga-style" text. This is popular in a lot of fan-fictions, but technically "sweat-dropping" is more of a visual effect. For regular text stories, it's more grammatically correct to say, "He began to sweat," or something like that. Sort of like how you nailed a good visual effect with "exchanged pissed expressions" rather than saying "his eyes small-dotted", ne?

I like the humor in your stories, your writing style is clear, and your ideas are entertaining. Overall opinion, great job! You should try a few more with this fandom. ^_^

That was HILARIOUS! Nice one. I especially like the ending.

Roy I could see doing something like this but I don't think Riza's the type to use Al, Ed, and poor Sheska for her own amusement like this.

Nice job! that ending was hilarius!