First attempt? Holy Hannah! Your first attempt is way better than any of my recent attempts. It was good, really really excellent.

Its been ages since I was here last! Wow your first FF, it was a great story, sad 2 c it end. maybe a sequal out there building on the s/j relationship?

that was absolutely flippin fantastic, well done. i often loose interest in the middle of long fanfics like this, so it says a lot about your writing that i got to the end of this one. thank you for an enjoyable read. and well done with the characterisations, i think teal'c can often be quite hard to write but you managed to do him justice.

That was a thoroughly enjoyable story!

It was very suprising that this was your first fanfic. I look forward to reading more from you. Good job!

I came across your story and had to read it all the way through as I found I needed to find out what was bothering jack...it was a well thought out story with just enough action to keep you waiting for the next shoe to drop..well worth staying up to finish it and hope to read something from you in the near future.

that was great! wow.. you even made the Asgard not seem like a deus ex machina. characterisation was really strong, too. keep writing, please!

That was awesome! We really enjoyed this story! Keep up the good work.

This has been a great story and I am sorry to see it end. I liked the team interactions and the attention to details, both markings of a quality story. For a first time fanfic, you did good. Hope to see more of your postings in the future.

Cheers!

Shannon K

Definitely enjoyed reading this story. :) It's goin' on my faves list. XD

There is no way this was your first fic. It was way to good. Please write more fic soon. I like how you use all of the team.

Wonderful story. So sorry it had to end. You did an excellent job telling the story. Can't wait to read what the evil idea was looking forward to reading the slight continuation somewhere in the future.

I wanna read about the evil idea...

;-)

Hi. I've been following this story since about halfway through, but since you were updating so wonderfully fast, I'd thought I'd wait until the end to leave a comment. And I'm glad I did, because I'm really impressed with the way your writing has improved as the story progressed.

In the beginning you had a few issues with missed punctuation, but you seem to have sorted that out fast, and now there's only one tiny little problem that I can still see. When somebody addresses someone else in dialogue, it's usual to put a comma before the name or title. So, to use some examples from your last chapter, "I don't know Sir," should be "I don't know, Sir,"; "I told you Carter," should be "I told you, Carter,"; "Good luck son" should be "Good luck, son," and so on. It's a really minor thing, but your grammar is so good otherwise that I thought I'd point it out.

The only other thing I noticed, which again really improved as the story went on, is that sometimes your paragraphs get a bit long. It's harder to read a really big chunk of text on a screen than it is on paper, so it's best to watch they don't run on for too many lines. After you get to more than about six, it can be a bit difficult for the reader to find their place - and you don't want them to miss any of your story, because it's really good!

I really enjoyed reading this - I thought it was a great little action-adventure story with enough other stuff going on character-wise to keep it interesting. I think your writing is very engaging and it shows a lot of promise, and so I'm adding you to my author alerts to see what you come up with next. Thanks for the great read!

Oh, it's finished! **sob, sob** I really, really, really, really, really loved reading this fic. There was lots of drama, tension, angst, suspense, action, complexity... all with a great storyline with lots of twists and turns. What more could a reader want? Well, for me personally, a bit more S/J ... but I loved the fact that, not only was there a plot with lots of things happening, but there was also the subplot of the team interaction and tension caused by Jack's knees ... interesting psychological look at how Jack could possibly handle having such a decision forced upon him. Fantastic First Fanfic ... serendipitous alliteration ... and I hope there will be many, many more! :o)