This was a very well-written look on Bakura, and how he was driven insane. I like it very much, especially the ending.

I'm very, very sorry because I'm about to waste the only review I can give from this account. I have no con-crit for you, only praise and acknowledgement and other purely happy things that are of no use to you. But I did love it, and I hope knowing that is enough. Your friend is very lucky to have this dedicated to her!

Concrit to the rescue! You're a wonderful author, so you deserve it to become even more wonderful. However, I'm sleep-deprived and miserable, so don't expect it to be too coherent. Forgive me. I bow profusely before your infinite wisdom.

I love the way you used 'and' with the descriptions. It always seems to make it better. Young and youthful and strong is better than young, youthful, and strong, just as your "born and uplifted and cleansed" is better than born, uplifted, and cleansed. To me, using 'and' like that makes it seem more as if it's being told from the character's POV, even if it's not first-person, and introspective one-shots told from an omniscient perspective are usually not quite as good.

"...staring, floating, until they too dissolve into the backdrop of red and become a scream distorted across his mind back and forth back and forth until he shoots bolt upright in bed and realises that the scream is his..." Now, THAT is just beautiful imagery, if I may say so myself. The "back and forth" part really complements you saying it was distorted. Reading it gave me a mental image of a drop falling into a puddle.

However, I can find something that could be better-- "a backdrop of red" rather than "the". "The" makes it seem like you've described it before; I understand that you mentioned blood from the Items. Did you include a description of blood or something in the original draft or something, and refer to it by saying "the backdrop of red"?...(nitpicks obsessively)

Another thing I adored was "he'd have been a crawler his entire life" instead of you saying something like, "he'd have stayed like that if the ghosts hadn't came".

Concrit? Uh... (winces) There's not much, but I'll try.

"He moans through his fitful nights as Diabound curls slowly around him to block him from slicing desert night..." First off, you used 'nights' twice in one sentence, which I, when I'm writing, try to avoid. Also, I think it would sound nicer if you had put "and Diabound curls slowly" simply because "as" sounds just... I don't know. It makes me wrinkle my nose.

Ah. I'm going to sleep. It's 8:31 AM. Ha.

Peache,

Amy

This is by far the best story about Bakura and how he avenges the loss of his mother and everyone else that lived in his village.. Great Job.. Keep up the good work...

... I'm impressed. Very much so.

You have a good grip on prose and grammar and the English language, your writing has a very artistic style. I enjoyed it very much. So much better than most Theif-King fics I've seen here.

Keep up the good work, girl! I'm rooting for you!

I am sorry that I cannot give concrit; your grammar is more than satisfying, and I find your word style excellent. I had not read YGO fanfiction for months, but your piece reminds me why the Thief King was such a special character to me.

Thank you.