Hey great story dude when r u going to update again

I got halfway through chapter one. I couldn't keep reading with all the grammar errors and misused words in place of proper words with similar sounds. Is English your second language? I'd suggest getting a proofreader. Your confession at the top of the story was a bit unsettling; specifically how you had taken from other stories, but I gave it a chance anyway. I thought it might be something good, but couldn't continue through all the glaring problems it still holds. If you improve your writing and come back to it, correct the problems, then it might shape up to be a good story.

great story. hope you plan on continue it soon.

awestruck.

You have written an amazing, original story, and I think it's high time you get off (or rather on, I should say) your ass and update. There are too many incredible, original, genius stories that were never finished. This right now is one of them, unless you continue it. Peace out.

please update as soon as possible

I hate abandoned stories...

i liked the story... i liked how naruto being strong and knowledgeable but i don't like how he acts what do you call that "pessimistic" i guess... Please UPDATE soon real soon because i wnt to know what will happened next... thanks...

I love this story. Seriously. Please, please, PLEASE update soon?

this is a great story

update soon

i tink it's a nice start. juz want to point out a mistake:"The enemy approaches. I shall give you the team you need"-i tink u mean time? otherwise, it seems gd.

I have a love/hate relationship with older stories that use what at the time was current information, but now is known to be out of date or just plain wrong.

Case in point, Naruto's dad's name. At the time it was written, it was believed to be Arashi. But of course that is now known to be a deliberate falsehood by the author. Second case in point is the fiction naming him Uzumaki, which makes no sense whatsover. If it was intended to protect Naruto from his father's foes, doesn't make much sense to give him the family name, LOL.

What is more laughable in general is so many fics take it as a fact that few people in Konoha know what the Fourth's name even was- sure they *called* him The Fourth, but every adult and most kids at the time would have known his name.

So, just for anyone new to Naruto who is reading this...

Naruto's dad: Minato Namakaze

Nauto's mom: Kushina Uzumaki

Secretly married, though the Third probably knew, and Kakashi too- hard to believe he didn't know his sensei had a girlfriend at the very least.

Infant Naruto was given his mother's name to protect him from his father's enemies.

There. That should clear things up, not that it corrects these errors in this fiction...

DuuuuuuuuDe. I love this story. You've made an awesome, original story (I've read other time Jutsu Stories, but none had me so engaged and wanting to to read what happens next like this one). Your Naruto is unique and different, the interactions well written and you clearly get the emotions you want the reader to feel across. Love it, I hope you come back and finish it up.

I DON'T CARE WHAT YOU SAY NO MATTER WHAT FUCKING EXSCUSE YOU USE IT IS FUCKING IMPOSSIBLE FOR A NON JINCHURIKI TO USE A BIJU CHAKRA DIRECTLY.

FOR CRYING OUT LOUD U SAW WHAT IT DID TO NARUTO WHEN HE FOUGHT SASUKE AND YOU TRY TO MAKE IT SO HINATA CAN DRAW ON THAT POWER. O YEAH AND ANOTHER THING, YOU FUCKING MADE HIM 22 ADULTS WHO FUCKING LIVE THE LIFE OF A SHINOBI AREN'T THAT FUCKING DENSE SO STOP MAKING HIM ACT LIKE HE'S TURNING A BLIND EYE TO THE FACT THAT HE REALLY IS THE SON OF A HOKAGE BECAUSE YOU ALREADY MADE AS GOOD AS CLEAR THAT HE WOULDN'T DO THAT AGAIN AFTER IT COST HIM HIANTA.

P FUCKING S AT 22 HE'S A FUCKING CARBON COPY OF THE FOURTH AND HOKAGE FUCKING MEANS FIRESHADOW DID YOU EVEN WATCH THE FUCKIN ANIME IN ENGLISH THE THIRD EVEN CALLS OROCHIMARU KAZEKAGE WHEN HE DISGUISE HIMSELF AS THE LEADER OF THE SAND VILLAGE. AND THIS IS MORE THEN AN ANGRY RANT IT IS A FUCKING CONSTRUCTIVE CRITICISM BY SOMEBODY WHO IS FUCKING PISS OFF TO THE POINT THAT THEY KEEP SAYING FUCKING BECAUSE YOU ARE NOT ONLY BUTCHERING A MANGA BUT A NATION DIFFERENT FROM YOUR OWN SO GO SCREW YOURSELF YOU ASSHOLE

goodwork and please update