Such an amazing story. Made me think a lot about what an animal in the real world feels like. Actually, it makes you think about a lot. Love it! You're very good at shaping a character different from a human.

Hi Dragonfree,
Finally got around to reading this story. It's really very good. I can see you put a lot of thought into it. The exploration of Scyther society and psychology impressed me heaps. Keep it up.
Raichu.

Five reviews? Seriously? Five?

Well, I'm rolling up my sleeves here to give a nice deep dig into this piece of fanfiction - late as I may be for it. I'll take it in chunks, though I'm not good with grammar and spelling I can pick out themes and such pretty well and give general advice.

The first little section of the story, a rather quiet beginning. It creeps in, no huge explosions, simply the birth of a character. In my opinion though, the first sentence is lacking. First sentences are pretty important, so you should probably try for some more introductory. A quick insight into Scyther, perhaps? We don't learn they're actually Scyther for a bit, and I see no real reason to make it suspenseful.

The insight into the leaders mind was pretty interesting. I'm suspecting you've crept a little analogy into there, which I can't say I wholly disapprove of xD Already the leader seems to me to have the shape of an antagonist, but I don't really know at this point. Personally I think you could do with more description, not too much but everything's really hazy at this point and hard to make out, so to speak.

The third part sounds a bit too text-book, but the style is interesting. Cutting down on the sheer formality of it for a rewrite might be in best interest. I really love the little details you've thrown in here and there, like how Descith doesn't miss his parents, purely because it's not a concept he really understands. By the way, a fly 'bonking' into his forehead xD Uhm, doubtful. Flies are tiny, after all, and bonk isn't so much a very as it as an onomatopeia. His little confusion with trying to see every bit of the tree is both interesting and really funny to me - I have very, very faint memories of doing exactly the same thing! xD Huh...Descith managed to CUT the branch off? That seemed a bit farfetched, aren't their scythes supposed to be dead underdeveloped and soft? Well whatever, I'm not going to beat you over the head with it. Just something to keep in mind if a rewrite is in order.

This Code has got me fascinated. All this about how, in a way, nature and nurture are kinda AGAINST each other here. It's an interesting concept, and it'd be good to see it expanded upon.

Heheh. And the Descith are adorable too. My main criticism is that it's so bare bones, more than a line for a paragraph is best. A few paragraphs could have been lumped together, just so it wouldn't look quite so sparse. It probably looked fine in Word or whatever the hell you used, but in everything looks kinda meek. D: The text-book formality is a bit odd, considering that it's supposed to be about a really childish character. If it's from his point of view, an effect of childishness would probably be better, though the distanced voice is good as well because it lets you explain things. Hmm. I dunno, it just seems odd to me.

Crap... >< I just had to click your profile and then just had to click Scyther's Story and ended up rereading the whole thing.

Why do I always read your stuff at midnight? oO;

I still have yet to write up a full review, though (I said I would...what, December?) I'd do it now, but SPPf's acting up and I'm tired. xP

Oh yeah, and I reread the pats of QFTl that I didn't read the last time I reread it. =P

Now I just have to read Nightmare...

*wipes a tear away from her eye* That ending was beautiful. This is definately a favorite.

Words can't describe the sheer brilliance in this fine masterpiece of a story. You really capture the views of a Pokémon, and you make it look that "this is the way it is, nothing else." What's more impressing is that you even made a pre evolved form of Scyther; Descith, and that kinda confused me at first, but when the Descith evolved, I began to understand it all.

This is probably one of the few tragedy stories on this site that's actually very good, but more on that later.

As usual, your grammar and spelling is perfect. But I think I did find one tiny little mistake. This is in the first chapter, end of part II.

--Sometimes, thanks to this rebellious train of thought, he became afraid that one day he would in fact be tempted to act upon it.--

I'm not sure, but it shouldn't be "thanks to", it should be "due to". Since he became afraid of being tempted, the thoughts couldn't be a good thing. And that "thanks to" is used in positive meanings, it doesn't work out. After all, it's not like I'd say "Thanks to the storm, the roof on my house blew off", now would I (unless I'm ironic)? Just a minor miss, nothing important.

Another thing is the usage of the f-word. I never liked it, really, and I assume that that's the reason the story's rated M. But seriously, the f-word? Everytime I write it, I always think of the word's main meaning... oh well... that's just me.

Lastly, I'd like to point out that chapter 5 was most likely the chapter where Mark first met Scyther, but it wasn't exactly the same. Meh... you're probably revising "The Quest for the Legends" again...

//EkaSwede

Definitely a good side story that gets the whole picture of Razor's life in it.
It's interesting to see his personality change, how he's fixed at his sense of duty and obeying the code at first, until he starts losing it and breaking everything. And parts with his obsession (and I'm assuming hatred now) over the female.

But doesn't seem like his life has been all bad. It's also seeing another side of Rob that's not really shown in the main story. Must've been hard for Razor to leave, but it's not really clear if he's happier with Mark.
Hmm, perhaps Razor will never be truly happy...

Sure would be interesting to learn about his past. Even here, I notice the somewhat 'unique' way in which the swarm works.