This is actually VERY good! The format is terrible, but the actual writing is VERY good! You need to reformat and not double space the lines. You also need to break it into actual paragraphs, but this is a WONDERFUL description of the rain in that scene! I LOVE IT!

Now quit downing yourself and keep writing! You can only improve and this is already great!

NiRi

I'm glad you understood what that was saying. lol. It was good nonetheless. Just, maybe, make it a lil more understandable for us people who aren't smartie pants like you and Co- err...i mean AuthoressInHiding

One, I am the kraken and solely possess the powers to set it loose on anyone in Reality, savvy? Two, the format made the story a bit hard to read. Three, it was really prosy and decorous... mebbe write things a bit simpler next time? Anyways, not meaning to sound critical. It was a very good example of personification and first story. Oh, and Four, never watch DMC eight times in one day. It does things to you I hate to consider. Anywho, good story, just writewritewritewritewrite...
Ta,
teh pwnful AiH, summoner of the kraken

It was interesting and very good. Awsome one fic! And well...ya know how clueless I am and its well known but... whats DMC? -_-;

You have a really lovely story here. First fic? Well then, kudos to you. The only thing that I was confused with was this sentence:

"I poignantly let ebb away my morose reflection . . . "

Here, it's used as a noun (I guess) but I think you meant to use it as a verb, since the non definition sure doesn't fit. But still, I really enjoyed your little oneshot.