Wow. Super twisted, yet excellent! I spotted zero grammar/spelling mistakes, and the best part - Shadow killed Cream! xDD No, kidding. It was totally awesome. Instant favorite for well-written darkness. : - 3

Hey!

It's been a while hasn't it. I loved your story. I never get tiered of Sonic deth sequences. You are still the master nad I have to catch up on my reviews. I have started to write more poetry and I can't wait to here from you again.

Good Job

I read too fast cause of the little time I have, so I kinda get it, and I kinda don't, but I think I get the basic idea. I like it.

Let me just say that, for a long time now, I've felt that this website has been quite void of anything worth the time reading. Save for the few pieces that one occasionally runs across, pieces like this seem to have become long forgotten, disappeared with greats such as David Macintyre, Stephen Zacharus and Danse Macabre (names you may or may not know, depending on how long you've been on this website).

Upon entering in to the contest with a piece of my own, I was asked to vote on the other pieces. I read through all the pieces and my votes went as such (In no particular order):

Allyballybee - Christmas Day: (2 of 5)
Julian - Christmas thingy: (3 of 5)
Gogehenks/Norick Madcaskae - Years in a Day: (1 of 5)
Sean Catlett - Transmission: (5 of 5)
ShyChick - A SatAM Christmas Carol: (1 of 5)
Darkhymns - Your Star: (4 of 5)
Dolphin - Semper Fidelis: (3 of 5)


I'm sure it won't mean too much but I felt rather appalled that Allyballybee's story bested yours.

I tend not to write a lot of blind praise in reviews so I will say that I had some complaints. Mostly just that the end felt somewhat rushed. A little more detail in the "slower" bits might have helped as well.

Beyond that, this piece was far more deserving of a high rank than all but one of the pieces entered in the contest.

Pace was good, spelling and grammar were clean, things were flashy, the description it had was almost literally, spitshined clean. The characters were used in a display, the likes of which I've not seen in quite some time. It was unique.

So hats off to you, for an entertaining read. I hope future endeavours are as succesful or more so.


- Gogehenks/Norick Madcaskae

O_o Okay, that was a bit weird. It was a good story, though I am curious as to why Shadow did that... I know that Shadow isn't the nicest of persons, but I don't think that he'd be one to do such things...

Anyway, I shall 'fav this. Nice job on updating here, again!

Ah, that contest. Maybe I'll have some pointers before Wingless Rain gets this thing.

Quite a lot of horizontal separators, I'd say. A single chapter, short story, if you may, has to have a more smooth form. Published works never exceed two per chapter.

Reading it carefully, this story is trying to imitate something it's not. It is neither a movie nor an impressive attempt. Yes, it is grand, compared to the vast majority of fan fiction in this particular section, but it's sin to mention the common filth once evaluating a nice piece.

I won't get into details and the silly characteristics this time. I twitched when I saw periods instead of commas and a few mistaken paragraphs, but whatever. You have to do something more general and get the action into a less jagged state. Too many scenes in one chapter. Either cut it into smaller chapters or extend each so that you wouldn't exceed the sane limits.

It's hard to rate a good work. I'd like to say it's a fine piece, but it has mistakes that I don't tolerate... Let this be my gift to you.

Good work.

Have a nice, abuse-free holiday.

Very deep and very profound. It really seems to me that this is one of the best pieces you have written. From originality to emotion to depth (inky depths), you have included it all.

Nice to see Cream being starred in a decent story. Since I see her so little nowadays, your description of her is definately one of the best I have seen so far; like a breath of fresh air.

And the plot, oh ho ho. I have not seen anything even vaguely resembling this at all. And it is all so nice, and yet, not easy to understand, so I had to read it again and again. An incredible feeling; to have pieces of the jigsaw slowly fall into place. That I have not gotten for a long time.

Really, impressive. I can say no more. Good luck for Stephen's fanfiction contest. I would write an entry, but..., let's just say that the spirit is strong but the body is weak.