 Jecca Meitahn 2006-12-24 . chapter 1Aww, that's adorable! You did a really great job capturing Gears for this piece, and, yeah, Hound would insist they dig up the whole tree! (And I'll admit, when the lights didn't work, I joined in on the disappointment.) The ending it great. Really just a wonderful piece, here. :)
And, not to be a pain or anything, but I spotted a few errors? You missed capitalizing "Ark" in the third paragraph, and down towards the ending (sixth to last, I think?), you've written "Not that’d it would do" and, at least to me, it reads a little awkwardly. I think maybe the 'd tacked onto the 'that' is unnecessary? Also, in the next paragraph after that, while referring to Hound, one sentence appears to have been cut off: "...but upon. After..." Finally, in the second to last paragraph, I think the word "waltz" should be "waltzed," to keep it in the same tense as the rest of the sentence. (I really hope you don't mind me pointing these things out. I'm really not trying to be annoying, they're just tiny little things I noticed while reading it.) |