This is a great fic you did a good job with it. This was very creative and I liked the master titles. I like the personalities of your original characters. I like how you explained the way the order worked and their talents.

Ok, bad record keeping... meaning, I never kept a list of all the stories I started, and then quit.

I'm so embarassed to see that the last person to leave reviews was... ME! Well at least I only read 4 chapters this time, not six. I thought the title sounded familiar.

My new rule is... don't read anything from anyone under 21. randomly picked number, yes, but I didn't want to 'pick on' 14 yr olds. No offense, there's just no 'perspective' to draw from. Anything you 'think' you know, I thought I 'knew' more than 30 years ago. And then, you find out later, you didn't know crap!

When I was 14, they hadn't INVENTED pc's yet. Texas Instruments came out with their TI whatever (that did 'BASIC' language, plugged into the TV, with absolutely zero stored memory) when I was 18, in 1983. My first class at college, we used terminals to punch code into paper cards, and all shared one 'reader' that took your cards in, and spit out your printed page of either the proper results, or where to find your mistakes. Every computer student recognized by the stacks of a thousand or so 'punched' and new cards, lugged around. Green, monochromatic, pc monitors hit campus, I think, two years later.

My point is, WOW! look at what is available, that you could even think of getting on some site and have a creative outlet that someone can see on the other side of the world. (I hadn't learned to 'type' yet, on a dinosaur of an old typewriter, until about 16)... so I will not criticize, if you don't mind that I go find something more mature to read. And sorry for those reviews back in November.

OK, I quit... (deafening cheers)... I just can't do the ' we'll dig you up and bring you back' thing, and I get it, like a phoenix, whatever.

Oh... and no one dies from "the Avada Kadavra". It's the f***ing 'killing curse', and to perform it, you SAY "avada kadavra"! As in: The ministry reports increased use of the killing curse during recent death eater attacks. In contrast, you don't yell "die, die, die", or "stun, stun, stun", or "explode", or even "fly away". There are 'incantations' to be used. We can get into silent/wandless, 'intent based' spell-work later.

I'll try to keep these mini-rants in order as they occur in the story...

The next time Ron says 'whatever' to, or cuts off Neville while speaking, Nev should backfist the *sswipe and break his jaw!

What do they have to DO to change into robes? I hate comparing the books to the movies, but the movies would have you believe EVERY wizard/witch wears muggle school uniforms and open robes, over them. The books and most ficcy writers would have you believe they are wearing ONLY robes ( maybe like Archie in GoF, they like a bit of air about their privates?) Less likely, even, I'm imagining garters and fishnets as seen in Rocky Horror, under the robes, with all the boys in GIRLS nickers, and the girls wearing NONE. Hmmmmm. Naaaaah!

Finally, could Harry and Ron just drop divination (or arrange an 'accident' for Trelawney, and why does't Hagrid REFUSE to let Malfoy in his class? And WHY does the little ferret even WANT to be in the 'half-breed's' class? Lucius must WANT him killed by a skrewt.

OK, back to the story.

Hmmmm, let's see... house size, per year is about ten per house. (class size being at an all time low, due to the first war with "he-who", ending with Harry's year, and seeing a significant surge from post-halloween 1981 'celebratory' baby making ) Four houses makes forty for each year, times seven is 280, so EASILY 300 students. Don't forget cats-owls-or-frogs for each. Not every parent would be there, so maybe NOT 600, I'll say 500 adults, and some older or younger siblings, add another 100... now we've got 900 people either on the train or milling about the platform. Oh and some train staff, ministry security, etc. ...Yes, I guess you COULD say "there were more than 100 " there. (maybe more like 1000, dillweed)(trying to keep it clean)

Any other casual, 'not thought out too well' observations... "the sky was a little bit blue today"?

Does ANYONE, EVER, think before they write stuff?... Oh, otherwise, great story!

(ch2) Yeah right, the way Lucius is rumored to like young boys, Harry only THINKS that is his WAND poking him in the head!

This isn't a terrible story and it even has promise... but really? first of all for an organization that boasts the power this one is supposed to it would be supremely easy to fake the death of an infant so that harry could have always lived with his parents...

sweet though doesnt that mean that they can still die of old age?

Ack! Noooo! Excellent cliffy!

hmmm Innovative. Very different.

Intriguing.

Interesting start.

I said a few chapters ago that this tale had potential, I was right. This "Harry Potter" story would be great as a mix of Friends/x-men/steet warrior/songfic...but as a HP it's crap.

I get the idea that this is written by an adolescent girl (I never believe profiles) who wants it all her own way (I bet that you stamp your feet when you don’t get your own way!), we have a group of psycho-killers who recruit (join us or die!) dead people, most of who are of a similar age to the author of this work. We need to know your fashion tastes; your musical tastes and that you feel it’s OK to kill people because they look at you the wrong way. I’ve always thought that JKR has gotten it all wrong and that Harry should have bought a machine pistol so that he could kill anybody he felt didn’t show him the respect he deserved.

This story isn’t bad; it’s just in the wrong category.

Keep writing you do have talent but not for Harry Potter stories

Well done!

This tale has real potencial. Good writing.

Anyway, I've got to get back to reading the the story.

Cheers

Sayena

That was a good story. Like some of the concepts, except the technology stuff used which kinda destroys magic unless it is a form of techomancy.