well you need more time to put into this and it was too short but all in all kinda good for a new righter kinda.

Get this shit off this site! The Zelda franchise is far too spectacular to be crossed over with such a cartoon! This story sucks!

One of the strangest crossovers I've ever read. The Family Guy inclusion is, like, OUT THERE, man.

You don't want to tip your hand that the Whup-Ass Girls are reincarnated goddesses quite yet - that's one of your Aces for later in the story.

One thing you can do to make this much more comprehensible is separate dialogue into paragraphs by each speaker. It will make things look a lot cleaner and will be an all-around smoother read.

hey man that was a picture of the japanese powerpuff girls z u can see it on

keep up the good work man, i want to see wat'll happen.