Awesome job Please write another one, maybe a sequeal

Ooh, I like this! It reminds me of the end of "The Breakfast Club" when (redheaded) Claire and Bender kiss in the parking lot. I had the same exhilarated feeling with that grain of salt -- just great.

(I'm reading zevie's review as I'm writing this) I really liked the use of Sherri instead of Cherry. In complete agreement with zevie's comment.

I think the first-person switch was jarring, but other than that I think it's really well-done stylistically and in terms of characterization. I love the omniscient narrator. The subtle judgmental/non-judgmental tone really makes it a delight to read. Good job!

Very nice. I have a soft spot for Dally/Cherry fics, but they are very hard to pull off. This was really well done, and I like that you ended the fic with her wanting them to be together, and with the idea that they are at the moment, but also with a feeling like Dallas is just on his way out of it and Cherry's lying to herself.

All in all, I thought this was really good, but there are a couple of specific things that I want to comment on.

“But there was one thing that she was definitely, in no way, ready for.”

This sentence suggests that you want to separate how much Dallas affected her (lol, obviously, yeah). But, there are already mention of things that she wasn’t ready for. It seems like you might mean that, while she wasn’t ready for the drinking and location, she found she could handle them to a certain degree, and Dallas was another story. If you don’t want to make that contrast, and you’re going for each thing getting worse and worse (location – bad, drinking – badder, Dallas – baddest) then maybe just change the word “but” into “and”. This is totally nitpicking, lol, the message is already pretty clear, but I like to obsess about each and every word – my poor reviewees suffer because of it. Sorries.

I wasn’t really fond of the use of “Sherri” at the beginning. But, as the fic went on, I kinda saw it being a way to distinguish how she sees herself, rather than as the “Cherry” image attributed to her by her peers (and by readers). I ended up really liking that device; it was very interesting.

The use of “I” suddenly in the narration kind of threw me. Who is the narrator? The POV seemed to switch from third limited in the beginning, following Cherry’s thoughts and actions, to this omniscient observer who knows better than Cherry, and then back again at the end a bit. I like them both, but I think you should be consistent – either one or the other, or find a way to reconcile them a bit more.

I really liked the shoes device, how it sort of represented her unravelling at the party and then picking herself up piece by piece after it.

I also really like your characterization of Dallas. These two lines in particular I really loved:

“He'd probably never know why he found it so hard to look her in the eye.”

“"No one looks pretty when they cry. You'd look fine if you'd stop."”

It’s just the right combination of mean and clumsily trying not to be that can make a Dallymance so good. Kudos.

I Love It.

hmm. I could imagine this happening. ;]

good writing. :)

I really liked it ! Oh plz continue! plz I loved it !! I want to know what happenes next ohh plz! I'm adding you to favs!

i loved this.
theres no others words for this
except extrodinary.

cute...and realistic. I luv Cherry/Dally fics and u did a good job on this one.

~~T

i loovee this story. I totally love Dally/Cherry stories! hahaha

Ooh, this was great, so poetic! I usually hate Dally/Cherry fics, but I think you got them in really the only circumstance where they'd happen - drunk lol.

Some favourite lines: "he realized he wouldn't have to do much to get Sherry to toss away her other shoe" and "She told herself that, maybe, he hadn't meant to leave her as she picked up her left shoe and slowly headed downstairs to look for the right." and lastly "...Dallas who didn't seem to be keeping up a good relationship with his alcohol" HEH. Love that last one.

The end...I ended up feeling like Cherry was just kidding herself again and I liked that a lot.

This was certainly original--I know, I don't usually put a high price on that, but it can be quite an added bonus when done well, and not just for the sake of it.

I liked it. : )

I always forget that her name is Sherry, so I kept thinking, Sherry who? Then I realized it. This went on for a while. You'd think that I would remember that, what with it being my mum's name (technically Cheri, but pronounced the same), but no...I always forget.

It's definitely quite a unique style. I have to saying, using your own voice as narration sounds awfully difficult, but you actually pull it off well.

Cheers!

This is a great one-shot. Not hard to imagine, either, looking at the way they treated each other in the book, so I don't think it was too AU. The writing is fantastic; I was sitting here laughing at your account of Sherry becoming increasingly inebriated, and my 14-month-old (standing on the computer next to me attempting to pry the mouse from my fingers) looked at the screen and laughed along with me.

Nice job. And Happy New Year! ;D

Liz

this was really good!! :)(: