That story was really good. It was decriptive and well very imaginative.

The converstaion between Lily and James is so good. Especially when James replied that he learned to take NO for an answer.

Anyway, that's probably all.

aw so sweet

Aw how cute! loved it

You got my attention, I really liked it. I have to thank you for taking the time to let us as readers feel exactly what was going on. Often times I find oneshots that are rushed and it's discouraging. Super!

i really liked your story. I was hoping it might be a bit longer, though.

Kiri

PLease write one more chapter and make it a two shot! Please!

It would have been better if you actually ended it.

And:

She smiled, “Yes, I suppose you could say that,”

You wrote that. What do you see wrong? At the end of the quotations you put a comma. I have no idea why you did that but you shouldn't. That is wrong. Commas are a PAUSE. They don't COMPLETE the sentence or END the sentence. That's a PERIOD.

You should have wrote:

She smiled. “Yes, I suppose you could say that.”

OR

“Yes, I suppose you could say that,” she said, smiling.

OR

“Yes, I suppose you could say that,” she said and smiled.

OR

“Yes, I suppose you could say that.” She smiled.

Why not this, you ask:

“Yes, I suppose you could say that,” she smiled.

You can't write that because smiling and talking aren't the same. You either make the quoation two sentences or combine it somehow.

(Note: I'm sure you can come up with more sentence structures than I showed, but you must get the general idea.)

Constuctively yours,

Amanda

It was nice. Not very long, it could've been longer, adding a bit more to really show that Lily liked him. But I liked it. Everyone is probably asking you to continue but I won't, oneshots like this are nice. People don't appreciate stories that leave something up to the readers imagination. If you do choose to continue it I'm sure it'll be lovely. Personally though, I like it the way it is. Well done. Cherrio.