This was just bloody incredible. There's no other way to put it. Reading it from beginning to end in just one sitting, I knew I had stumbled upon something special. This really is the perfect self-insert, keeping everything within the bounds of belief, and even expanded on it with even better insight. What's more, the whole dynamic of slowly 'becoming' Noriko adds an awesome perspective. Especially in chapter 8, when you start thinking of Noriko's father as if he was your own without even realizing it. I got a little emotional!

All-in-all. Awesome. Incredible. Perfect.

I love it.

So after reading all of this, what is there to say?

That wrist band has been there from the beginning, the missing object of memory.

We all have that basic fear of losing who we are. But it seems we have forgotten the basic fact that, who we are, is never who we were. Every moment in time wrapped in side our memory, if you look in time, you will find it in yourself.

To live, we must change, and in changing we become someone else.

As a writer, this process of change is our work to chronicle. It is the very meaning of our lives as writers. Yet it is also the single hardest thing to do right. We fear not that we will not be the same, but what this other person will be.

You have spoken of how hard it is to write this, how many false starts and rewrites you have done in the process.

The road is as hard as the goal is worth. Assuming you even read this, I ask you as a humble favor.

Take a shot.

some ideas for you

multiple personalitys, Noriko and "Noriko"

and a 400% Synchro causes them to be separated

Fairly awesome SI you have here! Love the way you presented (yourself? Right?), it's pretty believable compared to others I've read before. Love the small Haruhi Suzumiya thing you added, fairly cool seeing as I also love the series.

I also read a ton of your other stories. Incredibly awesome stories...but I didn't review. I'm lazy. Forgive me. I'll just have to add a check to all the boxes below and hope it makes up for my impoliteness.

...I must read moar. Thanks again for the awesome story.

Great job on this chapter! I was a little wary of your inclusion of Haruhi Suzumiya but you developed that nicely.

I'm wondering why you end sentences that are complete with an ellipse. I could understand if it's because you wanted to convey a thought interrupted, but you use them on completed thoughts.

Great story. I've read parts of this already... so it's hard to remember what my thoughts were immediately after reading, but it sure is good. Our main character seems to be slipping further and further away from any old identity... so perhaps there's less to worry about in being discovered.

Its been a long time coming but worth the wait 1 hav this gem back again, hope update sooner next time, sill great chapter, I can only hope our gender confused hero manages to keep his true self intact and not get overwritten by his female body. Also think he/she should take advantage of wot he knows about ritsuko to really mess with her head as payback for her little interrogation session

Thank you, thank you, thank you for continuing this fic.

I'm really looking forward to where you go from here, and yours has been one of the few SI's I can read without closing the window in disugst.

Looking forward to the next chapter.

~Anon

Hmm, interesting. Thanks for writing this, bye for now.

s0 h0w d1d y0u c0m3 up w1th th1s 1n the f1rst plac3 0r 1s 1t bas3d 0n a tru3 st0ry...

one word Kaworu

also i was saving this for my fanfic but
S2-Organ + Noriko = ?

and you can tell us the story from the Perspective of the other characters up to now

One of my favorite Eva fanfic writers is asking for help? I'd love to help.

The first thing that jumps out at me is that you need to interject chaos in to your story. Butterflies flapping their wings change the course of hurricanes. Or make them. In Europe, all swans were thought to be white, until the discovery of black swans in Australia caught the Old Country extremely off guard. It's been said that the terrorist attacks on Sept. 11 and American stock market crash and subsequent run on banks were statistical (probabilistic?) "black swans". Unseen; unthought of by almost everyone - until they happen, where the blindness that shielded us beforehand leaves us woefully unprepared to handle the crisis at hand. Thinking about it, Second Impact and Instrumentality are black swans.

I mention this because Noriko, or rather the you(Dartz-IRL) who is in Noriko, is a chaos butterfly in the ordered system of Eva. (Remember, chaos is just an erratic and complex system of order!). The Dartz-IRL is a black swan to the plans of Cmdr. Ikari and SEELE, whith one catch. Instrumentality is also a black swan, and being so, 99.9...% are blind to it. It's unthinkable, so it's not possible. Even if a little girl is talking to NATO/JSDF/Interpool/CIA/. It's just so... impossible. Unless it's you have the evidence in hand and Eva Shogoki is floating suspended the middle of the Tree of Numbers, Noriko just isn't going to be believed.

But thankfully we don't need to rely on elected officials and their deputy bureaucrats. (Thank goodness!) Just the presence of of Dartz-in-Noriko should make enough chaos that events should change. Slightly at first, but chaos has a tenancy to build and become experiential, so it is quite possible and believable that events could be very jumbled up, delayed, changed, or skipped. Fighting Angles out of order, having to fight two Angles at once, attracting an Angel (a Raphiel or Michale?) from outer space who wasn't in the Dead See Scrolls. Catching the interest or attention. of the First Ancestral Race (who made the Angles as an experiment.) The sky's the limit.


Some reading I'd recommend is Asic Asamov's "The Foundsation" trilogy. It deals with scenarios on a planet or galaxy wide reach over a thousand years. I could defiantly see the Cmdr and SEELE using Seldon Crisis to accomplish their goals. Jurasic Park by Michael Chriton deals in part with chaos. Pay attention to the character "Ian Malcom". And while the movie is good, the book is better (They had to chop sceans out to make for time.)

A fanfiction that would be good to read would be "Misty" by Mike Allen on rec.arts.anime.creative . It's a self insert, but it has some interesting ideas regarding self-inserts and character. you can find it at

http://groups./group/rec.arts.anime.creative/browse_thread/thread/8846b966bfbf831/e0492bf08853d22a?lnk=gst&q=Misty#e0492bf08853d22a

Thank you for writing, I hope that this review is helpful!

wingnut2292
ian.

^^ changing it up sounds Fantastic :P
nice chappy, a bit short, but still enjoyable.

I'm liking this. ::nods::

Haven't we had this conversation before? There are no "trousers" outside the British Isles. The rest of the English-speaking world has pulled a 28 Days Later and placed a sensible embargo on British idioms. I'm pretty sure all trousers were destroyed during Second Impact anyway. Only pants remain. If you want to be anachronistic, how about you make Noriko's father a Hari Krishna?

So is Haruhi in the story now? Or were you just being clever? That could be great meta-humor. Haruhi hires Rorschach from Watchmen to look into Noriko's past. Since you're so painfully from the Isles, the Ninth Doctor can show up in the TARDIS to prevent Rorschach from discovering that Noriko is in face a man in a young girl's body. I love it! GENIUS!

Think I said this about the first draft of this you did: Read like a novelization of the series with a character added in as a man-on-the-ground. Always fucking irritating to have a character, essentially all-knowing, just dicking around and twiddling her thumbs and having squeamish sex dreams about Shinji while the world comes down around her fucking ears. I've only read various renditions of the series' events about forty thousand motherfucking times now. How is this going to be different? Is Noriko going to defeat SEELE by trying to project the luck of the Irish on them? Who the fuck sits around waiting for EoE to happen?

Wrap-up:
1) If I catch another British idiom, I will PUNISH you. Tim Lebbon gets to do it because he's a great horror writer with millions of fans and dollars. Conversely, you have some Chinese takeout in the fridge.
2) Sticking slavishly to the series' chronology is going to make your story boring. Incredi-fucking-bly boring. Treat Noriko as the proverbial dead butterfly. Shit happens differently. Maybe throw some new Angels in. Still 13th and 14th and whatnot, but different form. Different outcome. Something someone would want to read, instead of registering which Angel is being fought and skipping ahead through the meticulously-crafted action sequences.
3) Lets assume for a moment that you aren't a coward, and you're smart enough to use a gun. Why aren't you (Noriko) stealing Misato's gun and shooting people until you feel certain EoE isn't happening? Why aren't you, say, phoning the UN to let them know about their secret puppetmasters? The press? Anything?