Reviews for Too Much Crime For Innocence

Reviews For: Too Much Crime For Innocence - Reviews: Page 1 of 2

SockMonkey101 2007-11-14 ch 1,	abuseAnd now I need something happy to read again. Poor Johnny...he's such a sad character. He's so much like...a kicked puppy, to use someone else's words whose name I can't remember. And then when he had to kill somebody...it would be too much for me. You write emotions so well it's crazy. Hehe. Frutition is a funny word. FOCUS! If I met myself, I would think I had ADD. FOCUS! I'm sorry about that. Anyway, I'm off to find something fun of yours to read, to get me out of this mood. Well wishes (again), Sock Monkey
Fosterchild 2007-07-23 ch 1,	abuseThat was really sad. Poor Johnny. It fits that he'd fall asleep wondering about his parents. Good job!
.Haligh. 2007-07-15 ch 1,	abuseWow. That was awesome. He was so in character it blew my mind. I absolutely love how you wrote Johnny here, and for some reason the end really gets me - It's so simple, but it means a lot; "I wondered if the porch light was on" was a perfect way to end this.
Hairibo 2007-03-27 ch 1,	abuseHey, this is Keira from Hairibo. I was surfing around some friend's ffn profiles and came across your name under their favorites lists - of course I remember your name from the many nominations and awards from season 3 of wsotta, but to be honest - I've never read your work before now. It's a shame I hadn't either, because it is really very good! I never gave much of a thought to Johnny's POV during their first night at Windrixville - sure I felt terrible for him, thinking he must be retching he's so scared and upset, but never really went far into that thought process. It's a refreshing insight to read this - and I agree with your choice to make it a one shot. It's a sweet, if not sad, piece, but well worth the read. You have a good way with words and I can't wait to get started on the rest of your work :) Great job!
amy 2007-03-17 ch 1, anon.	abusewow its really good
treehuggerbarbi1 2007-01-30 ch 1,	abuseI really liked this. A lot of people don't try Johnny's POV because it's to hard to get down, but I think you captured his character perfectly. I always imagined Johnny as someone who thought about things a lot more than some people do, even tho he doesn't talk a lot. Really good work :D. Keep it up. :D
ZiggyGurl 2007-01-06 ch 1,	abuseLoved it. Especially the reflections on the other characters -- what they're thinking. Very nice job on a Johnny POV, most people don't seem to do him justice. I also like how it's sort of mixed up, how his thoughts fly all over the place. Very real. -Devon
Jennifer 2007-01-05 ch 1, anon.	abusePoor Johnny. He had so much to worry about. I think this story is excellent just the way it is. Don't do anything to it, you hear me? That'll just mess it up. I loved this story to no end and I would love to read some of your future work. In other words, write more and I'll be looking forward to it. :)
EmilineHarris 2007-01-04 ch 1,	abuseI tried to leave a review last night, but either my computer or the website was all messed up. In any case, I'll take another crack at it... At first I wasn't so sure about the stream-of-consciousness narrative, but as I got farther into this one-shot, I think it sort of grew on me. While it made the piece jumpy and a little disjointed at times, it turns out that that is a great way to write something like this... Because Johnny's thoughts and feelings would obviously be all over the place after such an event and just sort of progress from one thing to the next. I think taking it to him falling asleep was a good place to end. If you had gone on much longer than that and I think it might have gone on for too long. One thing that I especially liked was how Johnny's thoughts went to his parents only after everything else (the cold outside, the stars, the gang and each guy individually etc.). That seems about right. I wish, for his sake, that his folks did notice that he was gone and were worried about him... Poor guy. All in all, I liked this and I think you captured Johnny very well. However (in my mind) this does not even begin to compare to how excellent "Tough Like Me" was... But that is my own, personal bias and I shouldn't compare apples to oranges. Keep writing! :)
Queen Jane Approximately 2007-01-04 ch 1,	abuseWow, I never thought about the irony behind the fact that they did something that totally contradicts the Ten Commandments, and then hid out in a church, of all possible places. I hate that I never notice things like that, because they're so ... well, lack of a better word, cool. I love that you brought that up here. "Deep down, I think there’s a part of him that’s sure Darry will save us." I really liked that line. It's so true. And it seems like a lot of people liked this line, so this is going to be completely redundant, but, "I think it’s nice that even us greasers can look good if you just squint and back up about a million miles." Loved it. Absolutely loved it. :) Every line of this was so amazing. A lot of people, including me, have a hard time getting into the voice and the personality of the character, but I think you captured Johnny brilliantly. It sounds so real, just like I imagined him. Ah, those last few lines gave me the chills. I don't think Steve's the only one that needs love anymore. :) Terrific job. I loved this. :D Peace..; Sarah
mars on fire 2007-01-03 ch 1,	abuse" I think it’s nice that even us greasers can look good if you just squint and back up about a million miles." I LOVE THAT LINE. Actually, I love a lot of them in here. You do Johnny's voice really well, his deep thinking and the pattern of his speech reminds me of the movie. I really love the way you ended it too..the part where he says "that's what you get for having holes in everything" is a metaphor for Johnny's whole life I think. It's so sad...I love pathos though lol. Great job with this. I like it at as a one-shot ending where it has, it works perfectly. And I hope you get this review lol.
Heart's Eclipse 2007-01-03 ch 1,	abuseaww poor Johnny! this was really good! 'I think it’s nice that even us greasers can look good if you just squint and back up about a million miles.' i really liked that line!! lol! :)(:
NittanyLizard 2007-01-03 ch 1,	abuseI think this is just amazing. You did a wonderful job writing Johnny; you managed to capture that tainted innocence, making him sound as cool and calm as Ponyboy saw him, while at the same time hinting at the fear that's driving him. I love the thought he has about greasers, and squinting and backing up about a million miles. That made me laugh. All of his thoughts flowed together so well, leading nicely from one topic to the next without making anything feel forced. Very nice job. I thought the length was great, and that last line kind of sent a sad chill through me. The whole piece had an even more somber feel to it than if it were an original since we know what ends up happening to Johnny. I think that after reading the story and seeing the movie so many times over the years I've become somewhat emotionally immune to it, but I have to say, this little one-shot gave it a new enough feel that I was sad about Johnny in a way I haven't been for a long time. Thanks :) Liz
Maxiekat 2007-01-03 ch 1,	abuseThat was terrific. I think you did a great job in capturing Johnny's thoughts and fears. I think that Johnny is very observant and smart, but that he keeps it bottled up. You captured this very well. I would love to read more of it if you decide to continue.
IAmOnlyMe 2007-01-03 ch 1,	abuseI liked it. I think you got Johnny's voice down very well--the diction was simple and a bit awkward, much like I would imagine his was. "Two-Bit probably won’t believe it for a while—Johnny? Knife someone? No way. What have you been drinking, and can I have a sip?" I love that line. Absolutely adore it. It's so incredibly much like Two-Bit. And I like the metaphor you had between the stars and the greasers. It was a nice way to show that Johnny has the capacity to be just as great a thinker as Ponyboy, he just doesn't have the education and the homelife to back it up. Anyway, I think it was a very good one shot and I woudn't try to add on extra length unless you have something specific you want to say. Otherwise it might start to feel repetitive, and since this is just a thoughtful one shot without any action, you wouldn't want anyone to lose interest. And I think it's just perfect at the length it is. : )

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