Well,...She's angry. I'm really looking forward to your next chapter!

I have a question, is Ortani an original character? If not, you've acctually found a character that I don't know. I'm impressed. Anyways, I was really impressed with this chapter. Sometimes when we're talking plot, I forget how human Forca acctually is. It's scary to be reminded by little things like her conversation with Garen. You've also been able to portray a convincing Master/Padawan relationship that has not been previously established by either you, or another author. Excellent job on the chapter.

that's a rather morbid ending there...*suddenly realizes that he would be beaten into a pulp if he said her name*...poor girl...interesting chapter you have there...*wonders what the implications to his own story in this universe this chapter will have* Good job, and X hasn't changed during all of your re-writes of the story, with good reason.

*snicker*...*snort*...that's just too funny...you succeded, he's a rather likable villan...but definately not cut out to be so...

well...that's a very interesting start...or restart...either way, I think it works much better than your original. Keep up the good work!