 hk0 2007-01-12 . chapter 1Wow... a week and no reviews? (Such are the breaks of M-rated material).
I really enjoyed this. Probably moreso than anything else you've written.
I mean, just from an structural perspective: Pacing (with three acts), representation of Gabranth's inner monologue, word choice... all top notch.
And you managed to meld a wealth of themes together: 1) the rituals of judgeship 2) speculation on Archadian custom and social perspective 3) trust and marriage
All while laying the groundwork for the Gabranth/Drace canon relationship.
I uh... wow.
Also it was refreshingly erotic.
I think my only concern is with Drace's initial characterization, I imagined her to be more modest. I believe that she was never wholly comfortable being the only woman despite her personal drive and loyalty to the law, and so I don't see her as being (initially) so unconcerned with appearances, or trusting Gabranth implictly in this potentially intimate initial encounter.
If there would have been some sort of significant dialog -- perhaps when asked her about the emperor's sons, moving past his initial pretext, whereupon she would reveal herself from behind a screen or some such -- that made her then decide to invite him to bathe with her as equals (or whatever)...
Then again... I could have missed something or read your stories out of order, or I'm way off base.
It certainly is sexier this way, you get more time to describe here through Gabranth's eyes. Tough call there. :-)
Anyway, five thumbs up. |