|Reviews for Sojourn in a Post Town|
| Rei Masako 3/10/10 . chapter 7
That was a very nice story. I liked the characters and how you handled it like a crime novel.
| nancy 7/23/08 . chapter 7
i loved ur story! u could really write a book if u wanted to, I would so buy it! (O) please e-mail me and let me know that u are a writer of fanfiction,(that way i won't delete it thinking that it is spam) when u e-mail me please tell me of other story u have written.. i would truly love to read more of ur work. u have great skills, don't let anybody tell u otherwise!
| J Luc Pitard 12/28/07 . chapter 7
Wonderful murder mystery! Nicely paced and populated with interesting original characters. I really enjoyed the sub plot with the jealous merchant and the difficult romance between the brother in law and Otsune. Kenshin is clearly coming straight from the horrors and not yet the 'lovable rurouni.' You draw a picture of his fresh pain and his quiet determination to hold to his vow. Well done.
| ferryboat George 10/16/07 . chapter 7
Wow, that was a fantastic story. I loved it.
| KuroKage1717 9/20/07 . chapter 7
Simply wow. Beautifully written, and although a little short, it is an intriguing story that somehow touches the heart. You wrapped everything up nicely in the end as well; in my opinion, this story is a winner!
| J.J.M. Fisher 5/22/07 . chapter 7
That was an outstanding tale. I had to read the entire story in one go. I love how you wove the action and mystery together, and the ending was perfect. Thanks so much for sharing this.
| Stubbs101 4/23/07 . chapter 7
I enjoyed this story from start to finish, I meant to leave a review earlier but didn't have the time. good job.
| Randa-Chan 4/9/07 . chapter 7
Very good! That was quite interesting and you write with marvellous skill. Congrats and I look forward to more from you in future.
| Clorinda 3/17/07 . chapter 7
When you said you'd overestimated your ability to be mysterious, I didn't believe you, and thought it was a cute way of putting things. Then, I decided to follow it up and read the story in question. Regardless of the correctness of the aforementioned comment, I distinctly liked this story, for more reasons than one.
The flow of the writing was a little jerky at first. Unnecessary speech tags, words that could have been positioned better, and that kind of stuff, but it definitely smoothed itself out.
But the story certainly starts off on an interesting note, because I haven't exactly seen many stories about Kenshin after the Battle of Toba and Fushimi; it's interesting to see how the Shinsengumi weren't the only ones cut up about it. The idea of setting it in a post town, was novel, as well; I've come to like that about your stories.
The attention to the details, which made the town more alive, was brilliant. The cooper, Tanaka Otsune's devotion to her children, the fishing lines. I like that you've gone out of your way to make each character three-dimensional. It was little hard to keep track of all those old men, but they added a nice layer to the story.
It starts out so sweetly— the excited brother-and-sister and their father (ooh, a reference to Saito!) — it paints a innocent, homey picture against the backdrop of a post town. I like how the story progressed; the pace was just in sync.s with the backdrop. The old men were a nice touch, and Mrs. Minoburi's dryness was delightful— like the Gryphon in Wonderland. (I guess Kenshin was too preoccupied to be Alice...)
I certainly liked that twist about Tanaka: that he was a hero mostly because he was in the war.
The part where Kenshin comes upon those old men, fishing, and realizes that *that* was the peace he'd strived to give, well, that was certainly, extremely poignant.
[Back during the war, people hadn’t been eager to chat with the hitokiri battousai.]
That was one hard-hitting line. Loved it.
The fight scenes — both of them — were brilliant. In the one in the third chapter, everything flowed fast and like liquid, extremely easy to visualize and would have been extremely entertaining to watch. Reading it was better than the-next-best-thing.
The one in the sixth chapter wasn't just as liquid, but I don't suppose it was meant to happen as fast as its predecessor, but nonetheless and either way, you had Kenshin in action down to pat. It was really, really *good*.
Tanaka Hiroshi's death was sudden, and the wake stirred real pity. I liked how you played out the shock and the stun, especially the cooper. The children's reactions were wrenching, and I couldn't help thinking that neither Miho nor Mikio had any *real* attachment to their father. I mean, they mourned for him because he had loved them, and they were supposed to cry for their father, but Miho (by her own confession) barely knew him, and Mikio seemed to have a mostly materialistic relationship with the man— “Who will teach me to be a samurai now?”; then, “The dojo in the next town over closed down since the war started." — even despite the *manner* in which he said it. But that's a personal take, entirely.
That was pretty intelligent of Kenshin (not that he's particularly dim!) when he thinks that his mysterious bathhouse-ninja deliberately set up the cry for him to stay, so that he could have another pot-shot at Kenshin.
[He’d been lucky to get it, and was unsure even now if the swordsmith who gave it to him intended it as a gift or an insult.]
Wow, brilliant observation!
I absolutely loved how you played out Hiroshi's character. I mean, despite the elegies and the praises, Kenshin could firmly see Tanaka as what he was, and that was such a subtle contrast to what everyone believed, the only way to describe it is: wham! Whatta shocker.
Hideki's vehemence was quite justified. 'Til then, I pitied the wife.
Fukashi's feelings for his sister-in-law, so evident from the start, was touching. When one knows what Hiroshi was like, his brusque, handicapped brother is bodily pitched into such heart-rendering light. It was a nice, cute reference to Tomoe, too.
Definitely Fukashi is the more impressive of the two brothers, and I *loved* his characterisation: his pride — which makes him hide his right hand — and his determination despite that — the way he practices with a sword in the bushes.
It was a little twang in the heart, when Kenshin goes out of his way to protect Hiroshi's truth. (For a moment — by the way the bandits were talking — I thought he wasn't dead at all.)
When contrasted to the hominess of the setting and the sleepy post town, the skeletons were a delicious shock.
[If there was to be a fight, the last thing he needed was dirt falling into his eyes.]
Distinctly intelligent of Kenshin, but rib-tickling nonetheless.
[Miho would be alright, since her mother seemed to have shielded her from her father’s evil, as well as his devastating charm.]
The last two words hit like a hyper-active champagne cork returning to the earth, attached to a meteor. It was *intelligent*.
The final outcome of it all was well, interesting. Not disappointing in the least, since this wasn't a whodunnit, to start with. I think my respect for Fukashi is strengthened even more, and with it, my respect for your writing skill. It was brilliant, the way you incorporated what the old men had been saying about young people being enticed by the glamour of the "big city" into the wide scale of things, and bringing it all into frightening effect.
The bathhouse intrigue was certainly interesting. I had a completely different idea, and the truth of the mysterious ninja guy, was wow-worthy.
Definitely the cooper's behaviour has been explained spectacularly, and I really liked that guy, too.
One certainly must feel bad for Otsune, but it *is* unfair how women get picked on so much. (I feel like shoving my knuckles into spiked gauntlets and letting 'em have it.)
The entire outcome of it all was inevitable, but that didn't stop it from being extremely good. I like how you end on a certainly ambiguous note— it doesn't say if ninja-man turns himself in, after all, or not, or if the good Mrs. Minoburi (who reminds me of Jane Marple) accepts the story of Tanaka Hiroshi being butchered by bandits after all or not.
The only thing that I found spectacularly disappointing about the story was the fact that Fukashi was a master swordsman in the making, ("was" of course, being the operative word.) As mentioned before, I liked the idea of him practicing with a sword in secret, but the fact that he was a brilliant swordsman to boot, rather made him larger than life.
Overall, it wasn't exactly a mystery, and it was a pretty multi-faceted story, with a simple setting and a good plot. It was very well-written, extremely well-researched (like every single one your stories. Barely anything's an anachronism or out-of-place— kudos!), and with enviably good action. I really, *really* liked this a lot. I know I said "Pursuit" was one of your best fics, but this one just climbed a notch higher.
Okay, so the title could have been better, but the story certainly made up for it.
| Hidari 3/9/07 . chapter 7
Very good story. _ Hiroshi is one lucky bastard. To be so well thought of despite his evil ways. I don't mean the fact that he was able to charm and fool the town, but because Kenshin and Fukashi were willing to hide the truth to protect his family. I'm not too sure how I feel about that. It seems the right and practical thing to do and then again I don't know... Anyway, it's always the excellent fics that leave me with thoughts like these. _
| wyrd 2/27/07 . chapter 7
(If this shows up twice, it's because the Internet was being weird.)
Whoa. Hiroshi sounds like he Antisocial Personality Disorder! Poor Fukashi and Otsune!
The fight scene in Chapter 6 was well-written and easy to visualize. I liked the part when the deep-voiced man said he was the better swordsman while Kenshin had already found several ways to counter his next move.
It's creepy how the townspeople have placed Hiroshi on a golden pedastal when in reality he's a depraved lunatic. I wish there was a way for them to learn the truth; I wanted to smack the guys whenever they started the "Hiroshi Tanaka was a hero!" vein.
Lastly, I like how Kenshin finds himself giving advice on grief to people when he himself is still struggling with his own. He should open up a position as a guideance counselor!
I enjoyed this story a lot, especially the twist at the end. Have a great week!
PS. Thank you so much for the YouTube movies. They really made my day.
| Warg 2/27/07 . chapter 7
I passed through halfway of the chapter before i realized it.. the ending half. The flow just.. worked.
Resolution and Hiroshi has been fleshed out masterfully. What a creep! :P
The way u've tied up the story.. ends which I hadn't even considered loose. Really.. amazing work.
Kenshin made a nice bit of impact in the end.. loved his lines.
I wanted to say more but in my current state i'd just be repeating myself. thanks for such a grand story Omasu.. and let's hope the final bit of this is along very soon _
| SilverInches 2/26/07 . chapter 7
So, so. That's it then. The guy totally deserved it! I wouldn't kill someone, but it's hard to be mad when someone else does it for preservation of life!
... would you write a epilogue? I mean, I wanted them to find out about Kenshin... though that could just be my silly preferance. I mean, he doesn't have to be still in town, but...
*shrug* Oh well. Awesome story. I'm not going to pretend I guessed who it was. I never do in mysteries. I'm terrible at catching to clues, but awesome job!
Can't wait for you to have time and plot bunnies for another story!
| Ms. Zeal 2/26/07 . chapter 7
Wow, that really was a twist! Very nicely done, though. Although, it might take a bit of convincing to make Shinohara believe that the bandits have actually been captured, but I'm sure Kenshin can do it. He would just have to disappear before the messenger came looking for him... _ Very nicely done! I like Kenshin's comment: "Forgive me, Fukashi, but I don't think that I'll be coming this way ever again." You people just have too much drama for me to deal with. And of course, his earlier comment: "How can you ask me to judge you?" I'm Battousai. "I've killed men too..." Very nice, very nice indeed! So, another story completed. Congratulations! I hope to see more from you soon! _
| Heather Logan 2/26/07 . chapter 7
Oh, brilliant ending! And meep! A dedication! I'm so charmed!
I loved the way you pulled together all the threads from the earlier parts of the story, including the girls who had "run off to the city." To tell the truth, I never suspected that such a thing had happened to them! And a wonderful explanation of the bath-house scene, too. Everything just comes together so nicely in this chapter; the whole story winds up being so tightly plotted and satisfying! Especially lovely was the way you unfolded the back-story of Fukashi's hand injury from the very beginning, through the old men's comments in the middle (just enough to arouse a possible hint of suspicion) to the ending here.
My favorite part of this, though, was the way Kenshin's words about life and death and atonement paralleled what he'll later say to Megumi. That was just perfect. The characterization in this final chapter was art.