 happynnice 2008-08-03 . chapter 1The quote goes..."the soil of a man's heart is stonier, a man grows what he can and he tends it"
This is my recollection of the sentence you plagiarize, and I haven't read this book in nearly twenty years. My memory is better than yours. Plagiarize better next time. |
 FallenstarxObsidianxOokami 2008-07-14 . chapter 10Okay, so in general, the story was, as others said, pretty good. I really like your choice in what happens, but... Have you ever thought of making a role-playing website? Try proboards or freewebs. They're both free, and can help you get better with writing. =3 |
 Slayer 2007-11-22 . chapter 2 This could be interesting but I won't be reading beyond chapter 2 for a few reasons. You need to pick a tense, and STAY IN IT. You can't be hopping from present to past with no explanation and certinaly you shouldn't do it in the same paragraph, for example:
"It took me about five days to unpack my things. A month later, I am about to start school, and my life has become dull. I am going to start school tomorrow. Josh had an easy..."
You need to be either talking about what's happening now, as it happens to you, or talking about what happened to you in the past. For example:
"It took me about five days to unpack my things when we first arrived. Josh had an easy...
"My life has become dull since the interest of the move. I'm used to the new house now, and the vacant one across the highway. It's strange over there, you'd think they'd raze it to the ground and start over, but they haven't. Huh.
Every now and then I catch sight of the little dirt path behind our house, and wonder where it leads. Perhaps soon I'll be curious enough to actually follow it... I'm starting school tomorrow. I wonder who, or what, it will bring my way..."
Also your writing is a little disjointed for me, it doesn't "flow" very well but that's just me. Good luck and carry on writing, after all practice makes perfect, or so they tell me! :o) |
 Kar-zid 2007-11-10 . chapter 10The End. Great story by the way, are you going to make another sequel? |
 Kar-zid 2007-11-10 . chapter 7Sorry, forgot to read this chapter, you're a great writer. |
 Kar-zid 2007-11-10 . chapter 8Woah! This story is getting more interesting every chapter! Write more soon! |
 Kar-zid 2007-11-10 . chapter 6Oh no! Selene's mother is dead! Can't wait to read on, so I will know! |
 Kar-zid 2007-11-10 . chapter 5So the dreams continue. There is no escape from, THE PET SEMETARY! Sorry, I had to say that :) |
 Kar-zid 2007-11-04 . chapter 4Wow, awesome chapter, write more and soon! |
 Kar-zid 2007-11-04 . chapter 3Great chapter, this is so far an awesome story, you write as well as Stephen King, but not as long chapters, but that is alright. Great Story! |
 Kar-zid 2007-11-04 . chapter 2Interesting, I watched Pet Semetary last night and am going to watch Pet Semetary 2 tonight. Graet Story still! |
 Kar-zid 2007-11-04 . chapter 1Great story so far! Can't wait to see what happens. |
 Laurem 2007-04-08 . chapter 3 This story is pretty cool! I really liked "The Accident" I would really like to know how she would get over a shovck like that |