How pretty! I loved it! It was very nice and well written. You did a wonderful job with the words and overall flow of it. Congrats.

Hey there! I've been reading through some of your poems. If you don't want my critique/advice, don't read on, or ignore what I'm about to say. It's not as ominous as it sounds. There's praise in there, too. I know this site is for fun, but I do love to edit.

I think you do a good job establishing tone and emotion. They also usually have a good rhythm, although I think you could edit some more to tighten that up a bit (I know editing is the worst part, but sadly, it helps).

Generally, you handle the rhyming very well. Sometimes, the words just seem to fall into place (I know I sometimes get really great ideas from rhyming), but other times, you sacrifice clarity, syntax and flow for the sake of setting up a rhyme.

In any case, keep writing, don't be afraid to try new things, and enjoy yourself.

If she only knew, we were one in the same. lol GREAT POEM!