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Reviews for: Changes
O'Donoghue
2008-06-08 . chapter 1
Good, but very formal. Is there more chapters planned?
SavAnnah1237
2007-01-19 . chapter 1
hey great story update soon!
MZephyr
2007-01-11 . chapter 1
First, what is the point of the story? What is it about? Ranma getting better grades? Ranma agreeing to train Akane? The fathers deciding to start teaching? Or the theme of many changes in their lives? It's not at all clear. There is little setup for any of these, and decisions are made and accepted too quickly. For example, it would help if you had some stuff about Akane's frustration that Ranma won't take her seriously, and Ranma's thought processes as he considers changing his approach in that regard. His conversion is also so sudden as to be jarring.

Second, your story is almost entirely dialog. You need to add description of what is going on around them and what the characters are doing. Use their expressions or actions to help paint a picture of what they are feeling as they talk. Do they sigh, arch their eyebrows, pout, glare, sweat, twiddle their thumbs, brush their hair back nervously, etc.?

I find it hard to believe that any of the children would not react a lot more strongly to the idea of Genma teaching students in the Tendo dojo.

Referring to Tokyo as a village is a bit ... unexpected. Nerima, the ward of Tokyo in which they live, has a population of over 600,0 all by itself.

You seem to have some reasonable character reaction between Akane and Ranma, but the story needs to be fleshed out.
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