Ok, wow, you weren't kidding about multi-chapter battles. This one just gets crazier and crazier. I can't believe Haku even has the energy left to use his most draining jutsu, but then again, this is fiction. And the original series hardly bothers enforcing chakra limits at the expense of a great battle. (I'm looking at you, Itachi... no wait, don't look at me... I was only kidding! No!)

Anyway, awesome chapter. I can't wait until everyone else shows up to the party.

I should have saved some of my comments on last chapter's fight scene for this chapter! You do write combat really well, with lots of detail on the physical side of it. It's easier to write big, impossibly flashy jutsu battles, but taijutsu needs a lot of realism to be convincing to me. Also Tiger style is one of my favourites to watch, all spinny claws and stuff... Angry Predator Frenzy Style!

LOVE the beginning of the chapter. "As if reality itself was tethered to his footsteps." You make the mind's eye cry with this kind of imagery.

Juri is so obviously jealous of Haku & Mari's love, right? Let me guess, there's a love triangle brewing! Don't even pretend I'm not close to uncovering the truth. :P

I like how the fight scene is playing out. Haku seems outmatched against a stronger opponent, and must resort to deception and trick moves to win. And for once, the 'stronger opponent' is female. In the Narutoverse?! The closest thing they have is... Chiyo.

I totally agree with you about the females in Naruto, and don't even get me started on Tsunade. I like Tsunade (cellular regeneration + slugs = my love), but sometimes it seems like her creator was conducting an experiment to see how many flaws he could fit into one character without them imploding.

Uh... great chapter!

I liked the opening scene with Haku a lot. It was kind of silly, but a great way to counter the tension building over the inevitable conflict ahead. For a second though, I thought Haku was going to actually adopt the sword for his own use, and I was relieved when he didn't.

At the end of the chapter, I picture a 'cowboy' version of Haku, walking off into the sunset (or pre-dawn, in this case) to a battle he doesn't expect to survive, after kissing his girl. It sounds crazy, but it's all starting to fit with the version of Haku you've created in this story, which in turn is merging with the 'real' Haku more and more each time I think about it. I believe that this could be (a heroic, slightly dramatic) Haku, post-Zabuza-and-Naruto, though I would never have thought that way before I read your story.

Great chapter, as always!

I had noticed that the transitions between the scenes from Juri's perspective seemed a little rough and... impulsive? But then, it really suits her character. Oddly enough, the transitions between Haku's scenes seemed to flow, and were often subtle. Like when Haku's conversation with Bunka in the aftermath of the forest battle is followed by a scene of Juri reading Confucius while drinking oolong tea, in a (relatively) calm and philosophical mood. There are a lot of neat little details in your chapters that make them just that much more entertaining to read, and this chapter is no exception.

As usual, an amazing chapter. I loved the way you ended the chapter, partly because of the visual, partly because of the anticipation I feel when I think of what will likely happen in the next few chapters. You can do it, Haku!

I love Juri in this chapter, especially her relationship with Haku. She's a real bundle of... joy. Her reactions to pretty much everything make me smile.

"Once you go ninja, you never go back." I think a lot of people would agree.

wow, that was long.
as an avid novel reader, i must say that your level of sophistication and cleverness can easily compete with them. i thoroughly enjoyed this, and am looking forward to its sequel.

Really awesome story. I loved reading it and hopefully I'll enjoy the sequel.

SuperN

Hm. It's turning out to be a real problem that I didn't click with hunter nin right away. I've enjoyed the parts with Haku but when you go off to talk about any of the characters... yeah. I get bored. I would really like the story to just be about him. The way it's written, it seems to be more about the hunter-nin. Or even, about ALL the characters. There's no real focus on one person. That's not necessarily a bad thing but it's not what I like, personally.

But, again, I did like the scenes with Haku. And I thought that kid was cute. xD And wow at him bringing up Haku's... preferences. That was so awkward! But I really liked that scene. And I appreciate the fact that it was addressed in that way.

[It’s got a hole burned right through it too. Man!” he exclaimed, clearly impressed. “Whatever jutsu that Kakashi guy used is pretty kick-ass.”]

Yay! I agree. I just love that Kakashi's getting props for that! xD

Hmm. This time I felt like the Hunter-nin's dialogue was better

[At some level, she knew she was still naïve about a great many things, but she also knew that Jimon was capable of dropping more sh-t (verbally-speaking) than a rhinoceros.]

*slaps knee frantically* lmao. I usually don't like cursing and vulgar jokes, but I just love that one!

[With sluggish deliberation he raised his right arm, turned it over and seemed surprised himself that there was a scalpel hidden there.

Haku rolled the knife slowly between his dexterous fingers, transitioning it between and around each, before he handed it over handle-first.]

I loved that scene! It was cool how Maceo caught him with the scalpel and made him give it back! And this scene made me think "Wow, he's definitely a ninja! Finding himself a weapon while groggy and not even doing it consciously!"

[Haku’s eyes widened, then his whole face twisted in agony as he slumped limply where he lay. Mari’s simple gesture had informed him of the end of his world. The wounded boy clutched his hands over his face and, weak as he was, shook with tears.]

I love the phrasing of that. Wow! So heartfelt! I feel so bad for him!

[“What a damn waste. I suppose, from the silly way he’s dressed and the obvious injuries he sustained, that he was one of them ninjers.”]

Lol. You have no idea how much that amuses me! From the fact that he called it a "waste [of that beauty]" to the term "ninjers"! Haha. I love that word now!

[The former doctor’s eyes widened as they tracked a teardrop that gathered in the corner of the boy’s eye…then trickled slowly down his temple.]

This gets creepier and creepier. xD HOW can he be alive? But even though even he thinks he's not, he obviously is... Anyways, this is reminding me of that thing that happens where you're like in a coma, but you're actually aware of everything, stuck in your own head...

Okay, not sure I like the personalities of your hunter nin... at all... especially their irritating accents. But I like the fact that they arrived and that Haku's body not being there could cause trouble for Team Seven and/or the Leaf village, if the misunderstanding continues. That's interesting!

Hi, just wanted to let you know that despite being skeptical at first, this story is really lovely.

First off you have made one glaring mistake through out the whole story...

Haku is not a cross dresser in the serie's, he's simply wearing a kimono when he meet's Naruto in the forest...

This is worn both by male and female so unless you already knew this and intentionaly changed it then that is a mistake...

Secondly, WOW! Amazing story i must say, and even if you had the most shitty plot ever you are incredible at making new carecters with unique personality's and that alone could make me read the story, that you got a very throughly made plot and one of the longest most amazing fight scene's ive ever read in fanfiction only makes it so much better..

Well gonna read the sequel now, so i hope it's just as good...

Reading the training ring's girl fight with the old geezer was boring but Haku fighting the anbu is actually quite exiting to read... Very imaganitive and nicely (Is that even a word?) writen...