WOW that was so awsome! yet quite sad at the same time!...well it was supposed to be...

Looks good! I just saw one little typo, in the third to last paragraph: "...if her were that sort of person, he would have..." My only other suggestion would be that personally I can't really picture Snape talking aloud to himself, even when he's dying completely alone. But that may be influenced by Rickman's portrayal of Snape, not canon. But good job, certainly!

Hmm.. I suppose Severus tried his best to contribute... I had hoped he would have been there, having a major part to play. Perhaps better elaboration on his last thoughts... But nonetheless, very well written, after all, not everyone can go down in the battle field. Brownie points for vocab and grammar.

*grins* You know, the moment you have to start awarding brownie points for things of basic English, you know the language is diminishing in this world.

Oh well, good work, looking forward to more of your works!