This is excellent. Very original and great descriptions. You, my friend, are an incredibly talented writer. And you've mastered the point of view changes wonderfully. It flows beautifully-sometimes when other people attempt this it gets really awkward and confusing, but this is simply perfect. The changes between the 3rd and 1st person really give your story a great depth. I'm putting you on author alert. Keep writing-I can't wait to see how the newsies fit in. Again, wonderful job!
-Blue Kat

Very nice. Are you going to write a sequel? I can see how it's open to one. I love how you get inside of her head, and your description is wonderful. Please let me know what you think of my work.

hey- it's pretty good but a few things; one, no newsies- but im sure u'll stick 'em in there soon nuff. she was eight when she killed the guy right? so if time really had passed and she became seventeen, why would she still have to bandage her arm? Also, that's a lot of language and heroism for a little eightyearold- or was she seventeen. it could be a really awesome story- jus a few changes. i'll check back, i hope u update.

Wow... Just wow... I really like this. It sounds almost like a Michael Crighton story, or John Grisham - except it's about a girl, not a guy. I like it. Once again, your descriptive language shines throughout the whole story. I hope to read more of your work soon!

I like it! More?

A great prologue to a story!