*raises eyebrow* First fic? Well done! Extremely well done.

Love your insight into Erik here. It's been a couple of years since I've read the book (and I've seen none of the musicals), but you seem to have nailed him here. And I adore your insight into how he's caged himself... Mercy indeed on the fool who tries.

The Merchant of Venice!

Ahem, may I congratulate you on writing an excellent phantom fic! Characterisations were spot on - this scene could literally come straight out of the book. My only nit pick being when the Daroga used the word "bloody", which, as a mild British swear word, it seems unlikely that someone from Persia would use the phrase.

The Daroga's observations at the end where also poignant without coming across as forced/awkward/sappy - something that isn't managed by most fic.

Kudos to you and keep up the good work :D

“All that is gold does not glitter, not all who wander are lost.”- J.R.R. Tolkien. Sorry, I’m on an LOTR kick at the moment.

Well done! Truly introspective, I must say.

I believe your Erik was perfectly balanced, in regards to Leroux. While at times he seemed simply nonchalant over the daroga’s worries and protests, there was the underlying hint of madness in his character, which became more and more pronounced near the end. His anger, his lofty air about his so-called ‘freedom’…I really loved the idea of creating for himself another prison below the opera house, and not realizing it, as the Persian did. And such regret in that last line- “…he could have been king! And I know that, somehow, he would have made a fine king—if not for the cage he had built for himself.”

Your writing skill as a whole is very well developed, although in the stylized, non-fanfic world, all dialogue would ideally set off a new paragraph. The vocabulary and sentence structure is sophisticated without being over-the-top, which gives it a good blend of insight and description. All in all, a better oneshot than most that I have encountered.

By the way, I think you should take a stab at an InuYasha fic, if you feel inclined. I’ve been disheartened of late trying to find a good one which, as of yet, I have not. You have such a great talent, and I’m truly touched that you had such praise for my writing.

Thanks Kurai!

wow. first fic?

this is excellent!

bravo!

-briana-

This fic is really good! I really like how you portrayed Erik through Nadir's eyes.

Excellent. Your style reminds me very much of Leroux's. Great job! *applauds*

A little rough about the edges, but not bad overall. I like the idea of Erik building his own cage: it is one that had not occurred to me before.

phantom_jedi