Sigh... Sweetie, I'll try to be as polite as I can while still being honest.

Dialogue-style author notes are a bad idea. Writers can only get away with them if they are amusing, well-written, and attached to very long chapters. Your first chapter and its author notes take up the same amount of space, approximately.

Don't tell readers that you'll update only after X number of reviews, because it will generally annoy them and cause less reviews. At that point, a writer is forced to either retract that statement (in which case they should remove it from the chapters, also) or to refuse to update. Bad idea.

Spellcheck and thoroughly review the grammar for your chapters, author notes, summary, and title. It can never really be perfect, but doing so to the best of your abilities shows professionalism, and it at least significantly lowers the rate of errors (maybe even to a point where your readers don't notice them either!). If you don't trust your own proofreading abilities in one or more areas, get a beta reader. There are forums for this, though one can sometimes be found through a positive review with one such offer.

Do not use chatspeak anywhere in your posts. I'm not kidding. Just don't. Not unless the character actually *speaks* in written chatspeak.

Please also note that whatever and anywhere are both single words, but every day is two as a noun (but one word only as an adjective, as in "I wear these shoes every day." versus "These are my everyday shoes." Lame example, yes, but it gets the point across.).

I'm sorry to be giving a review on writing style corrections rather than the story content, but you were complaining in your author profile about receiving a number of flames recently, and I'm just trying to help you avoid that in the future. Best of luck.

Looks like that whole: "Note: Please review! Every 10 reviews I’ll put up another chapter!" isn't working huh?

Good God. God, God, God, God, God, God, God. Wait a minute. How many fingers do you got there? Five? Six?

What the fuck is wrong with my vision, anyway? Why can't I read any of this? Uh, I have a headache. Where's my hangover cure? I need my damn hangover cure!

Oh, right. Sorry.

Please, do the rest of humanity a favor and never- *throws up enormous chunks*

-end of transmission-

WTF! Why would BARBIES steal Jadens deck? Thats crazy talk!

I need more reviews. I have chapter 3 done. I want at least 5 reviews. Come on, thats just 2 more people. Please don't be completely rude...

...*groan*

If you're going to write a fanfiction, at LEAST be sure you know how to spell everyone's name first. -_-

His name is Syrus. SYRUS. WITH AN S.

...Other than the spelling, I have no comment. Because there's really not much to actually comment ON. :X

If you have any suggestions for any further chapters, feel free to e-mail me I'll definately do more than five chapters if I have enough time