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| Dormantly banjkazfan 2007-06-01 ch 1,  | abuseShort, but well-written. I enjoyed it, and I'm sad to see that it has no reviews as of yet... However, my only nitpick is that you should start a new paragraph when someone is speaking...for reasons I can't explain, it makes things seem a bit rushed...for example: "“Frau! You can’t do this! I won’t let you.” Frau sobbed. “Go away, Number 2, you don’t care, I know that!” “Frau, I do care. In fact, if you don’t go in right now, I’ll jump myself! Please. We need you. Your son needs you. I NEED YOU!” Frau sighed and came down from the roof." Maybe there could've been a bit more description here and there, but all in all it's well-written--something I'm glad to see in the Austin Powers section! Hopefully you continue to do AP fics! |