FanFiction.Net - unleash your imagination
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| csimouse 2008-04-20 ch 1,  | abuseThis was good. |
| BandG33K2008 2007-02-18 ch 1, | abuseThis was Great! |
| tory 2007-02-05 ch 1, anon. | abuseahahahahahahahahahahahaha! ecklie walked into a wall!! perfecting ending- really it was! i lvoe youre writing- its all great- and yeah for gsr! sara gets a babie! |
| angry penguin 2007-01-29 ch 1, | abuseNicely done. I wasen't expecting Grissom to show up. |
| Ellis 2007-01-29 ch 1, anon. | abuseI love this so much!! One of those that make you laugh and cry! |
| ayesha-s 2007-01-29 ch 1, | abusehaha great story!! |
| PurplePopple 2007-01-29 ch 1, | abuseThis story could be improved with a good beta reader. The author starts off with problems. Wonder and wander have two different meanings. The punctuation for the dialog is frequently done incorrectly and is inconsistent. The author doesn't seem to improve upon the punctuation problems when dialog isn't involved. There are run on sentences. The author also doesn't seem to know how to use a comma correctly. One hopes with age, the author will learn these basic rules of writing. Until they do, I reccomend a pass on their work. |