Sucks for Voldy dunnit? He's gonna be stuck down there, get his skin and be like..."Shit..." I'm glad Luna and Harry got to meet up too. Wonder how long it takes for someone to get all their flesh back...?

Honestly, not your best work. The beginning was particularly jarring, as it felt like you were going through a laundry list of characters and giving one sentence descriptions of their ends. It had neither the imagery of the epic nor the information of a news report, falling somewhere in between where we learned a little about a lot of people. It was a third-person scattered perspective where we have what seems to be an omniscient voice, but which is limited to a personal recollection of individual events. It felt, in some ways, like a first fic, where the writer has an end point they want to get to and are rushing through preliminaries to set it up. And the afterlife you set up does indeed deliver better.

Once Harry awoke, things got better. We're receiving a personal viewpoint, Harry's viewpoint, and the descriptions become more detailed even as they become limited to what he is perceiving at the time. At times, the dialogue between Harry and Tom, and the descriptions waxed on the preachy. I kept getting the feeling of the allegory wherein the message is overriding the story, but there was enough story to make it worth reading to the end.

Once I read your author's note, it made everything clear. Reading that it was inspired by a C.S. Lewis piece, in particular, explained some of the tone (although C.S. Lewis, by his own statement, didn't so much write allegory as he wrote religious alternate realities). I haven't read that particular piece, but this sounds like the kind of stuff that I remember from Narnia and is Space Trilogy. I personally feel that you did a good job trying to adapt your style, but it felt awkward much like a new pair of ill-fitting shoes. In time, you get your feet to fit if it's close enough, but you walk funny at first.

So, overall comment, it was an interesting piece with some nice bits of description, but I feel like the style is not a good fit for you. In time, I think you can manage, but I feel like this was more of a one-off experiment to stretch your writing muscles. I'd be willing to read other attempts if you make them, but I overall, I like your other works better.

Hey that was extremely well written but also really wierd, what exactly was that place?

I liked this verson of what happens after death. Thank you for a great read.








Hemotem

wow. lovely story. beautiful and marvelous.

Wow, this is a marvellous story. I do wonder why Dumbledore didn't seek Harry out (he has made a lot of mistakes and there was some unresolved stuff at his death)...

That's a healthy view on the dance macabre :)

I just got around to reading this and had to respond. I just want you to know its truly amazing and you should be proud of it.
Sincerely, Kaetti

More please!

I enjoyed the story so far. I wondered why you were able to give Voldie anger, but not Harry.

You will probably explain this along the way. I look forward to it.

Thanks for sharing the first chapter.

This story was weird and a tad disturbing, but beautifully written =)

Wow, this was a touching, and wonderfully done story, one that made me feel sorry for Tom even, considering the way he couldn't escape his own demons. It's even a Harry/Luna story in a way, heh, and nice to see that in death, the two of them got a happy ending.

Beautifully done.

Wow. That was strange and somehow beautiful at the same time. You write better than I could hope to.

That was immensely entertaining. Well written.

Yours or not yours, it is an interesting insight into the problem of afterlife. I like this one-shot. And the HPLL pairing in your works is always appreciated.