This was really good-everyone who reviewed it earlier used the word "interesting," and that's exactly what it is-if you subscribe to the more concrete "reading" of Pan's Labyrinth, the fate of the heroine's little brother is the big question mark at the end of the film. When I thought about this, I always thought that Mercedes would play up the stories about the boy's sister, emphasize that she died trying to protect him, etc., in order to tilt him as far as possible away from his father's legacy. But your wonderfully evocative phrase that he is "shaking" more positive influence off "like autumn leaves," makes a good case that his father's character may be an undertow...

Nature or nurture? That is the question...

Thanks for writing such a thoughtful, troubling, piece,

Clio

I really liked the way you got indide the boy's head, definitly seems li questions he would have.

I'm speechless.

That was really good.

Amazingly good.

Wow.

this is really interesting, i wish there were more like this

Interesting, I loved it.

I like how the tone of this one-shot seems none too happy. I've seen some where the boy is very nice and meets Ofelia somehow, but this really stands out. It feels as if the Captain has gotten his last wish or something.

This is good. You get the feeling that, deep down, he is a little bit evil...or maybe that's just me.

But, it's not really a drabble...They're only 100 words long, and this is a bit more than that. If you have a different view, that's fine. That's just what I thought

Ah, I really have nothing to say. This was written so well, I think one just has to *read* it and figure out for themself.

thats me

ahhelga

aka Pauline

Quite interesting, and waiting to see where is this going to

This is on the precipice of something interesting...

This is a very interesting and unique story. I like that it focuses on Ofelia's brother. Alas, he is indeed the son of the evil and soulless captain, but he is also Carmen's son, and Carmen had a heart of gold. I really hope he doesn't grow up to become Vidal despite the fact that he looks like him. Hopefully Pedro and Mercedes will turn him into an honorable and caring young man.

I am ::scrounging:: for Panfic, and still too nervous to try my own hand at it, so this is quite a nice find. I particularly like the fact that you can appreciate an antagonist. Vidal was a great character, and I hate seeing him bashed around any more than he was in the movie itself.

Anyway! This little fic has a nice flow, especially in the paragraph devoted to describing Vidal's son. The words absolutely come to ::life:: at that point; I loved it. In contrast, I found that things were a little choppy right at the beginning. The word "smile" comes up three times in one short sentence, which came across as an unnecessary repetition.

Still. That can be easily overlooked once you slip into that very Labyrinth-esque prose toward the middle and end.

You've got a lovely writing style. I'm glad you decided to apply it to this fandom!

*gasp* Nanda! Is this... could it be... a new fandom? Omigod! *dies* That was good, in any case. Creepy. A bit like the ol' captain himself...