i love white wolf's vampire the masquerade! i'm not one for one-shots, but i really liked this story. good job!

I play White Wolf too. I love the Vampirerole plays so I had to read this story.I lovedit.I hope you'll write more.

I loved it. I apreciate that it was brisk but the pace was a little bit fast. Please write more, I would like to see where this goes.

A little bit short and sketchy for my tastes, but not bad overall. Leaves a few too many questions at the end, though. Sort of feels like a prologue. Still, not a bad read.

Maybe 'cute' isn't really the right word, but this is just that, kinda. I like your style, it's pleasant without being egregiously verbose (the way egregiously verbose is, itself... oh, never mind) and concise but not spartan. You missed a comma (silky, ebony tresses), but that's really the only flaw I could find. Nicely done.