Enjoyed reading what you have so far. I'll be looking forward to see just what direction this story ends up going in. I like the French used too. It seems like a language Sarah definitely would have studied in school since it's so romantic sounding. I'll be keeping watch for future chapters!

love it. Nice french you're weaving into the story, which makes me question your roots -. keep it going!

Hm, pretty good start. But, I was kinda hoping to see a little bit of Jareth starting to show up... Oh well, hopefully next chapter? Anyhoo, just get to writing more!

delightful! i'm really enjoying this, and can't wait to see where you take it!

Ella

Oh! Great beginning! Can't wait to read more.

Curiouser and curiouser.

Nice.. very nice. Hope you have the time to update regularly

Interesting... I look forward to seeing where you take this! I'm excited - a new fic - yay! And a decently written one as well. That's very important to me. That said, I found one little thing that bugged me:

“But you promised. You promised that if I sat here and didn’t yell and dance in the aisles that you would tell me a story! I is being good!” She put her hands under her legs as if to emphasize her complete compliance.

“Are being good Mackenzie’ interrupted Sarah’s stepmother Karen, ‘You are being good”

Mackenzie ought to have said "I AM being good," so that's how they should have corrected her. This way, I wouldn't have been surprise if she said "Okay, then, I ARE being good." Hehe. Hope that's clear enough... Anyway, otherwise, an interesting start. And Jareth is watching... hehe. Stalker!