Dear Author

Nice little update. Pardon if the first sentences of this review are redundant.

The narration has improved from, though you need more detail and emotion.

The beginning is an interesting plot twist. Paulina apologized for her trick on Danny (assuming that she isn’t tricking him again) and Danny thinks things are going his way.

Meanwhile Tucker is in the background, shaking his head at the absurdity of this stupid game,

Another interesting plot twist: Sam shows up, dressed in an outfit that reveals too much flesh (in a desperate attempt to woo Danny), and Danny is red faced.

This is what I think of the wholesome standards. Though Sam’s outfit is doing revealing, I am glad you wrote it in a way that didn’t trigger arousal in me. I have a favor, but I’ll ask in a PM.

I hope this review brightens your day. God bless.

Data Seeker

Dear Author

Interesting update.

You need to work on detail, but some areas have better narration then the pervious chapter.

The beginning with Danny failing to catch Skulker and now he has to get to school was good, though needed more detail.

The following scenes have the best narration. Danny gets to school, he gets close to Paulina and gets her phone number with some subtlety, and Tucker is mad at Danny and his dialog was great the way he told Danny in no uncertain terms that he is destroying his friendship to win a bet (Sam is doing it do, but he isn’t talking to Sam) and Danny won’t admit (yeah it’s a human thing. We don’t like admitting we’re wrong).

Nice cliffhanger. I wonder what Danny will do now exactly.

The wholesome standards are OK. Some of the slang is dubious, but I won’t make a big deal about it. At least they are not something clearly outrageous.

I hope this review brightens your day. God bless.

Data Seeker

Dear Author

Interesting fanfic.

there are good aspects too this chapter, but its missing a few things. Its hard to explain. You need better narration, emotion, and you need to be more descriptive with the characters, their thoughts and emotions, and such.

The beginning is roughly good; Danny is sleepy (because he was busy last night, which makes sense). Sam is jealous of Paulina and Danny staring at her.

As for this stupid game they agreed to do, well it’s roughly an interesting plotline, and Sam might dare Danny and Danny would agree with it (teenagers tend to do things without thinking). But it seemed rushed.

Now they are rethinking this game and seeing it as it is: stupid and childish. But they are sticking to their guns, interesting and typical.

The wholesome standards are high thus far.

The language is clean.

Nothing is suggestively offensive.

No extreme violence or any other vile content.

I hope this review brightens your day. God bless.

Data Seeker

wow, you haven't updated for a while...pity, this is a really good story! *gives author 2 kookies* you should update sometime soon...

This story is GREAT (!) totally awesomeness! YOU HAVE TO ADD MORE! puh-lez! *puppy dog look*

UPDATE!

-callie

good job so far. Love it.

please continue this. pwease 3

WHOA!

The drama!

Nice chapter! I can't wait for the next.

wow update soon

This is a good chapter! Even though it was short, it was worth it. Can't wait to see what happens next!

GO SAM! Yay i like where this story is going, update soon!

This looks like it's getting pretty good...Update soon! D

LMAO, God, this is hilarious. what a way to intimidate Danny. i wonder what's going through her mind...

waiting for an update,

brittney

Oh my gosh.

What the heck is she wearing? xD

I want to see how this turns out... update soon? :D

And my sister made me call the rejection hotline once. It was funny xD. I forgot what the number is though. lol

Update soon!

Great chapter, cant wait for the next one! :)