I laughed so much throughtout this fic, so hard in fact, at one point my sides ached! (the part where Ashe knocked Basch unconcious and Djojo panicked when they had to tie him up) ^_^

Splendid job, kupo!

You've probably noticed I've favourited and put some of your fics on alert -I can't help it! your stories are great! :)

I know it's been a while since you last updated -but I'd REALLY kove to read more soon!

Please update this! Its fantastic!

Aww, for heavenly sake, why haven't I read this sooner? How could I miss this lovely fic? Gyah, I am mad!
It is so lovely and cute, honestly. You have a knack to write about Basch and Ashe past, you make him seem so dashingly handsome, strong, caring and smart and her... Ashe is so adorably cute! Polite and yet, so misciveous in a very cute way.
I am abusing at the word "cute" I am sorry XD
And Djojo is a wonderful asset to this story. Thanks to him, I am finding this story to be not only wonderfully written but also have a nicely touch of humour!
Please, update update update! :)

Yay for youtube and fan made amvs! It's amazing how scenes one has already seen can have entirely different meaning when rearranged and accompanied by the right music. After seeing several, I had to check out fics on the pair. And I gotta say, it's kinda funny that yours is the first fic I check out, because if you're aorin107, yours were the amvs that got me most excited about Ashe x Basch.

Now for the story: It's not bad for a first fic. It's true that begetting an heir is the duty of any monarch. Ashe knows that her second marriage, like her marriage with Rasler, must be done for the good for her country. I do think she actually loved Rasler and didn't marry him out of duty alone, but that's a matter of debate. The scene with the ministers was kinda amusing. And I'm looking forward to when she is reunited with Basch.

Suggestions: Trim your writing as much as possible. Cut out wordiness and redundancies, exchange complicated words for simple ones where appropriate. Make your point as clearly and briefly as you can, and your prose will be stronger. Use active voice. And be careful of tense. Choose either present or past tense, but stick with it the whole time.

Example:
"If anyone had been there to see her, the view she presented from the high terrace is of legendary beauty. The five years has been kind to her; she has outgrown the childish features and it has been replaced by a regal presence and womanly demeanor. Ashe has always been beautiful – a stunning desert bloom as Al-Cid Margrace had graciously put it. Her ashy blonde streaks framed her delicate heart-shaped face which was adorned by her soft luminous crystal gray eyes. Her tall, graceful frame gowned with a white dress – made for comfort and convenience - which accentuate her slender and willowy figure. There is one error etched across her feature though, there seemed to be an ever-present loneliness and world-weary cloud hovering over her eyes, but instead of diminishing her beauty it only served to accentuate her loveliness. Even when she was forced to live in the most abject conditions during her hiding in the Rabanstre downtown, the harsh-lived two years have not managed to snatch away her beauty."

Readability stats from Word: 169 words, 42% passive sentences, 57.7 reading ease.

Comments: You have a lot of detail to help us picture Ashe, which is good. But there's so many words coming at us at once, sometimes over describing things, that it's hard to see the character because we have to sift through so many details. It can be shortened and made easier to read.

Rewritten: Anyone who glanced at the high terrace would have seen a woman of striking beauty. Ashe had always been beautiful, a peerless desert bloom, but the past five years had given regal grace to formerly girlish features. A white dress lingered on the curves of her tall, graceful frame. Blonde streaks framed a heart-shaped face and soft gray eyes. And the shadow that lurked in those eyes, the hint of longing and weariness, only served to heighten her delicate beauty.

Stats: 80 words, 0% passive sentences, 73.2 reading ease.

Comments: One way that paragraph could be rewritten to halve the word count while retaining the level of detail.

There's several things you should watch out for, but it's not bad at all for a first fic. Hope you keep writing!

-Kitsilver

Okay...this was a good story! Just read all three chapters and I think it's wonderful. Especially how Basch had followed the princess and her slamming the door in his face.

Djojo is excellent. Nicely written for a moogle! Bless 'is little 'eart...just for kupo nuts huh? Or is it Scooby snacks?! *LOL*

I also love the way Ashe is now changing her mind about Basch. The way he always fans her hot meals, never eats until she's eaten etc...a gentleman. *sigh* Nicely described.

"Once again, he felt Ashe’s hand laced with his own, and this time, he responded by tightening his grip to reassure her."

SWEET! Please...update when youse can. :) Sorry I hadn't done this sooner.

OH MY GOD.

I want to kill myself when i didn't take your advice sooner. GOD. The other fic was wonderful. this is PURELY ADORABLE!! GAH!! it's so damn cute. IT's overflowing with cuteness. And yes, it is still wonderful.

Aw... I love Basch and his Onii-chan-ness-but-i-want-to-marry-you-someday-ness. I can't even find words to describe it properly. GYAH! and and and AL CID! Oh my god. Dude, you must update this. YOU MUST.

FF ate my comment. I came back today and for some reason it's not here. :(

Anyways, this was AWESOME. I mean it. You should really post this stuff over at LJ and the Ashe/Basch comm. I know the story will only get better, so updatez plzz. :)

This is freaking *awesome*. I loved this fic from beginning to end, and I'm clamouring for more. The subtleties of past life, Basch's younger self, Ashe as a child, the whole Rasler's birthday party... =) Love this!

now this is getting really interesting. enjoyable reading.
i really can’t wait for the next one.
it had been three chapters and it was a cool start.
please continue!

ah. little ashe. and rasler was 9 years old!
that was a fun reading. i can say that.
gotta read the next one.

XD okay. interesting. i’m not sure what’s gonna happen in the next chapter.
her ministers were funny. i guess it was a sensitive topic to begin with. ashe did look so annoyed of it.

OOH!! I love this so far! I like how you have chosen to show the developement of Ashe and Basch's feelings...unlike some authors. Anywho...this is excellent and i look forward to reading more! Keep up the astounding work!

another brilliant chapter. don't worry about slow updates. :) I love Djojo!

I was wondering who the "dandily-dressed gangly teenager" was! Al-Cid... that's funny.

I have to say, that's quite a twist, accidentally heading to Rozzaria, but that just makes eerything more fun for eveyone back in Dalmasca, ne?

Keep it up!

I luved this chapter! Basche and Ashe together are cute! And I like how you remember details about the game to make the story more canon... the ending made me laugh. Here's a thought...
When the four are traveling across the countryside, something can happen to Ashe, and it's Al-Cid's fault partly, and Basche can get mad at him...
it could enhance the Basche/Ashe relationship!