I think you've got the worst ways to spoil the fun of your Hellsing FF readers listet in here.
(even though I kind of write Seras sue... and several people say they are great... unfortionally in German so... whatever)
Every time I somwere read 'OMG Cliffy' I get the feeling something realy disgusting fell onto me and I need to get a shower imediately.
Well after closing that Window on my Laptop so I wont have to see that FF ever again.
I sometimes didn't because the Story was way to good and I'm addictet reading to good Storys...

wow! despite this is a parody, the first one seems to sound like an awesome story to make!

LMFAO
when i read this i couldn't help but laugh, especially with all the...CLIFFY's! I haven't read a funny fic in ages and happy that yours was the first one i chose, because it was...very silly!

CLIFFY! I'm sorry but now that's my favourite word!
^_^

Jeezus, that one made me laugh.
I'm endlessly grateful that somebody typed out what I was thinking after reading a bunch of incredibly gushy and angsty fanfics (The perversions some fangurls come up with!). And I never read crossovers. Ever. There is nothing more insulting to an author than to 'make his stories better' by adding foreign characters to it.
My personal aversions asides, I sure hope this opened a few eyes. We, as the Hellsing fans, sure need more well-written fics on here.
Anyways, thank you for this guide, I think it got the message across. :)

My eyes.
They bleed.
And btw, Grapefruits are, according to one of my friends, sexual tension. xD


Lawls-worthy.

(blinks)...(silence continues. More blinks follow):.

"plotless fluff in the Hamtaro (if you don’t know about it, you’re a happy person) section"
that really annihalated my ribs, Hamtaro- quite the example.

"And here ends your following of the canon, for Goku jumps out of nowhere and they shag ’til the end of time"
somepart of my brain continued there, i hope to god no one really did make something like that,

this is hilarious, particularly this chapter. though i have not read many hellsing crossovers, somehow all of this feels very possible. frighteningly possible. i will keep these rules in mind for my fic
great work!
AND OMG CLIFFY!

Hahaha, those "OMG! A CLIFFY!" Things are horrible, yet they do make me laugh XD. Usually what I do is laugh maniacally and say "Yeah, I know I'm evil."

Ah, crossover fanfics. I've never tried those yet, unless you count time-travel type ones where the people are launched into the story. The first one was my favorite XD

BWAHAHA!! This was great! My only question is what exactly is PWP?

WOW, this fic is fantastic!! You know just what makes a BAD fnfiction!
Now you need to comment on people who write like they are talking to their friends if you know what I mean with numbers and a lot of ''s (I can't show you because english is not my main language).
And also peoples who makes actual charaters so ooc that they are practically mary-sues, like seras is suddenly this hip young girl with all the trends and such.
And people who have only seen the anime but thinks they know everything about Hellsing (I once saw someone calling the Major an OC in a review :S)
BUT, awesome fic! VERY!

That was true enought again! You should put this up to too! I'm waiting for the next very much!

OMG this was the funniest rant I have ever read. Thank you. Many of these stories start sounding the same after a while. The only thing I think you missed are the cliché terms and phrases. Eyes become orbs, raven locks, my fave is "her chasm" or “her cavern” … what are they doing, spelunking? Anyway, you have a good eye for picking out the formulae. Keep up the good work.

WTF! xD OK?

Wow...

I like yo..!
(cliffy.. )

I think you covered them all.

Seems like every frigging Hellsing fic out there needs a damned OC. I guess Hellsing doesn't have enough characters people need to make up their own.