Fabulous! I love the new character! More, please!

Kainoa

nice work! keep it up.

Very interesting. Please continue!

I did like the fact that you made Jake just a little stonger by having him win the fight about where he and Will were going to live.

Although, just one thing, it would seem rather odd that a woman would be living her life as a soldier back then. And I think you've made Will just a bit too cocky, especially after everything that happened in the film and all.

Other then that, I like it. It has a lot of potential! :)

another great chapter

loved it

more would be lovely!