The concept was good, however there are quie a few gramarical errors. For example, "I hurted him then..." "Hurted" isn't a word. Another expample:

Some days I feel broke inside..." This should read as "I feel broken inside." You switched tenses sometimes too. Overall, it was a good idea, but just work out the kinks.

Very pretty language you have used. I love how you've expressed Ashe's pain... very nice. It's nice to see Raminas/Ashe interaction. Plot bunnies are forming in my own head.

Nice job. :p.

This story was really sad but good all the same. I'm sorry about your friend's loss. You are a very good friend and the way Ashe feels is what I can imagine your friend feels. That feeling is terrible and I don't think anyone should go through it. Life can be cruel sometimes but never forget there are good times (just not enough of them in my opinion). God bless to you and your friend.

I'm sorry for your friend's loss. You're a good friend and this is a good (although sad) fic.

Hi Wendy. I saw your story yesterday, but haven't had the time to review it until now. And I must say that you are a true good friend to support your friend through this time. Your story is nice reflection of the universal relationship between parents and their children, and the loss that one feels when they are gone.

A big 'sorry' and hug for you and your friend... That's so sad... :'(

Great story, tho. So full of emotion, and it fit the mood you created from your Author's Note.

It's nice of you to be there in your friend's time of need.

I know how she feels I've lost my dad too and I also, had a recent death in the family. Nice story.

God Bless,

T. Ali