I'm always a fan of a dark, slightly creepy Atton. You've really done well with his Sith-side. I do find some of the typos and tense-switching to be a bit distracting, but I'm an anal-retentive editor, so don't mind me.
I love the overall feel of this piece, and I love the Jedi's warning...

well I liked the idea of the jedi warning Atton so he would help the hero/heroine of kotor2.