"For in a world where life could be as fleeting as a mayfly,"
Don't you think this saying is being overused already?

"yet as enduring as an ancient oak"
Ancient oak sounds kinda redundant, as an oak already has a strong bulky ring to it.

Nice foreshadowing by letting the younger one complain about not seeing any true foes then dropping in some Orc activity later.

You also seem to be using the word 'litter' a lot, maybe swap it here and there with a synonym.

“I am doing just fine thankyou very much.” Came a rough voice and the bandaged
Insert space between thank and you.

"It would do to use maggots to eat away the dead flesh but we have none on hand."
Funny, I thought they used leeches for that purpose.

"But these were stories used to scare the younger of the Elven people in their cribs"
Bit questionable, seems like a cliche. Although Tolkien did use myths in his story himself, so it doesn't really seem inapprotiate.


"As an esteemed healer, Arandur was rarely question and in"
questioned I think

"He had never heard of anyone living."
Seems like an incomplete sentence, maybe replace living with surviving it.

Overall another two thumbs up, I love the dark despair, especially in contrast with the stereotype happy gay elves which I have grown to resent. Love reading it, don't make me wait forever again for the next update please.

*eyes widen* Surely Legolas won't die. You would not--well, I hope not--kill him?

You having me waiting impatiently for the next chapter. :)

-Calenlass

Nice story, I just have two remarks. One, correct me if I'm wrong, but I thought elves didn't sleep... two is more a typo-type ;)

His frown deepened and he shook his, motioning for her to be silent as he took her hand and draw her away down another hallway.

Mustn't that be

His frown deepened and he shook his head...

?
Sorry for not having more interesting comments...

See ya!

Nadja

That was...unexpected...
And ouch, you're putting your character through a lot.
Is Hirgon an OC? If he's a canon character for another universe, he is quite admirable. :)

-Calenlass Greenleaf

Fist:

...have been avoided by simple trust. Unfortunately, since the attacks had become more numerous, this couldn't be so...

Then:
over the Mountains. The High Pass in fact and the unfortunate facts are as so. Rivendell will always become their first target, then whoever lays beyond

Twice you use the same word unfortunat(e)/(ly). Maybe replacing one of the two with a similiar word like "regrettable", "misfortunate" or something like that.

drive these creatures back over the mountains and even further if need be. That scum belongs in Mordor, and in a perfect world they would not exist at

I could be wrong but I believe since it's plurar it should be "those scum" not "That".


Said elf sighed again and tidied up the desk from parchment and notices left behind by the rather consistent visitors to his Home and office. The study

"Said elf", now it could be that I'm just not familiar with that wording but somehow it sounds a little unnatural.

And maybe a little more transition between the meeting with the human & dwarves and the elf sneaking up him. Because you switched really fast between them I had to reread a bit so make sure I was still following.

Wasn't it fëa instead of fea?

The 'IF' never
crossed his mind.
I think the capital letters are a bit to much, the two (')'s make it stand out enough I think.

Yay, dwarves! :D I have no idea why but somehow I have a soft spot for dwarves, so I must say I like the idea of a dwarf going along on the journey.

And of course the bird is also a nice touch.

For a third time now, I would have to say two thumbs up as I'm still wanting to keep on reading but alas I shall have to wait ;)

Hmm, I've never watched "V for Vendetta," and I don't know what "Avatar" is. But this is a good beginning, and I liked what I see.

Oehh cool cool cool! Totally loved this chapter. Found the candle notion absolutely beautiful, how it dies out on the exact same time. And the emotions between Elrohir and Elladan were so cute. I was sure they would both die, as I know you're not such a fluf writer as I am, but no they lived - yaay!

I'm really curious what this human girl has to do with it all and that boy with his ancient soul. I know that one Avatar kid had the element Air, but thats about all I remember lol.

Keep up the good work, am loving this :D

Nice follow up.

I like your timing in this piece. When you set up something about a meeting. Then talk about something the character sees and notice. And then get right back to his answer, instantly reminding the reader of the meeting without having to repeat it. Not always an easy thing to do but skillfully executed in this piece.

I also think the battle is nicely worded. Somehow it reminds me somewhat of R.A. Salvatore.
The orc's poison is also a nice and grim touch of mystery.

I'd definitely would say that the thumbs stay up :)

"they wondered about what the future held for their son"
I wonder too. Keep posting in your LJ when there is an update so I can read that too.

"Considering the boys were in their twenty third year, it now seemed unlikely to be a habit they would drop...ever."
I'm not quite sure but I believe that 3 dots isn't a proper way of writing. I know exactly how you would pronounce it hehe, but that's beside the point. I believe the correct way is to use a dash, but then again I'm no expert.

And I'm also missing something in the character introduction. Namely the physical descriptions. Nothing overly detailed but at least some clues here and there.

Overall I'd give the story a thumbs up :)

Heya,
i know, i know I stil need to re-read Two Strangers, but now I took the easy way out and choose for your latest story *hides head in shame*
Either way I really like the concept of the story! Plus I have actually watched some Avatar epi's a while back *pats own back* so I kinda understand the stuff what's being explained jeuj!
I still totally love your writing style, it's so good!

Well perhaps I'll see ya on Friday, if not we so need to meet up again soon :D

*hugs*