Okay, you've obviously got a very good imagination but I found this very hard to read, because of the way you've formatted this. Some paragraphs are too long and dense, and I'd prefer it if you started speech on a new line to break it up. Some parts, such as “but that did Elprede’s father do", are confusing and don't make a lot sense, so make you proof read and edit before submitting.

its a good idea and u r doing well with it, but r there possibly 2 many hahas?

heyy person,

good story..

kk

bye

Mutter feels so bad that no one reviewed such a scone-ful story. (scone-ful means totally awesome) Fantasy stories are the bestest. CONTINUE..._