It is such a touching and heartwarming story, amazing job! =D

Very nice story! I do agree that love is more exciting when it is forbidden. I can totally relate to Hinata and her socialization problems; borrowing her words, "I found no one who could tolerate my boring nature". Hinata, as how you used her in your story, best describes my personality.

There are few grammatical errors, though. And the occasional misuse of "him" and "her" makes the story a bit confusing. But hey, I can bear with them. =p

I also noticed this slight abuse of using Naruto characters in fanfics. I think the only connection between your characters and the real Naruto characters is their relation with each other - Hinata and Neji being cousins, and Naruto and Hinata being friends. Gaara and Hinata aren't actually friends in the anime. In fact, Gaara doesn't even know the latter, or so I think. Is this a lack of a better character to use in place of Gaara? And considering the fact that Neji can use his Byakugan, why didn't he use it to know who his secret admirer is, or to find where the guests list is? =p

I was also wondering how Hinata was able to open Neji's locker. Doesn't he actually lock his locker? A locker's purpose is for safekeeping of valuables. How could Neji leave his locker open to the public? D:

Overall, the story was superb. I was almost in tears. Amazing plot! I rate it 9/10. Keep it up, Kate! ^_^v

Very sweet story with a little angst thrown in there just to spice it up!! Great job!

omg!! i love it! the poems are very well-thought out. good job!!

aaw... cute... I like it

Beautiful

what about garra baka

WOW.you've nailed this one deranged-insanity!:]
it's an awesome story.i was so hooked up with your fanfic:]even if i'm not a fan of anime fan fictions.
it has a great plot.i love the originality of yours.it lacks a little twist,just a little,but that's fine.and the fact that you did not use the traditional pairings is great.i hate those traditional pairings,i see them already on televisions,i want something different.anyway.

the ending was great!it's not something that one will be able to guess in the middle of the story.it's really not that predictable,for me.[cause i was predicting something else.haha.] anyway.it's great.it's sweet.i love it!
conversations are powerful.umm..the descriptions are good but i can say,there's something lacking.i don't know if it's only me.anyway.
i still find this as a cliffhanger.i want more kate!hahaha!i can smell some SEQUEL in here![:haha!

overall.this fanfic is awesome.you did a one heck of a hellacious job writing this fanfic.
continue to write mind-blowing fanfics:]i'll be expecting more from you and the sequel for this story!:]

Hi Kate=]

First I'd like to commend you for starting the story and ENDING it. I really am jealous of people like you. When I start writing stories, I get lazy or run out of ideas so I quit. Hahaha=] It's embarassing, yeah. Haha, moving on...

COFGA. Mwahaha. Content is good, you were able to make enough chapters to make your story satifying.=] Though it would be better if you added more chapters... y'know, more twists and descriptions. I love stories which really make me imagine stuff.. Haha. But what you did was good too. Like, you sut to the chase and just said it. Makes things direct and uncomplicated. It doesn't confuse the readers.=] C... Consistency. In the first part of the story I was kinda confused whether Hinata was a he or a she. Haha. Just noticed=]

Organization? Great. You're not random like me. Haha. You stuck to what you had in mind and that's good. Keep it up.

Format. Haha, it's a free world. Sa English class lang applicable yun. Next...

Grammar. With a few edits here and there, your fic will be ready for publishing! Hahaha=] I'm serious with that. I remember when we were in fifth grade you were writing these stories...Keep us with that and you'll make it big someday, I'm sure.

A. We all know what that stands for. Mayu's dreaded word. Five stars. It was typed anyway. Hahaha=]

Great fic Kate, and your ending was super cute. Cheesy endings like that (in a good way cheesy) make my day, super! It's so lightly romantic. Makes me go chilly. I'm not really a fan of Naruto, but you're starting to convince me to watch the show. Haha=]

Your plot was very good. I like the whole idea of the story. Some aspects of the story I can definitely relate to and the poem is just genius! I love it!

The character of Hinata reminds me of a classmate of mine, hm?=]

I love you Kate, you know that, and congratulations on this super kaduper fic! Ten thumbs up in the atmosphere! Take care.

Aw! such a cute ending! ^^ I loved this story from the beginning
but i wanted it to continue, i wanted to know if hinata and gaara were going to be friends again, well i will just imagine it.

Full Reviewer mode: Okay, I’ll review this chapter and the whole story. First, I admire the last line. I have the heart for ending lines that have the touchy feeling. XD That style never ceases to make me smile. Great. XD

This chapter is the best so far. You’ve showed your fast progress by adding fuller descriptions, lovely human emotions and nicely written actions. The flow of this chapter is great; the pacing, ever beautiful. XD Their conversation was nicely done and their personalities showed in their words. Neji became softer though, but it’s inevitable because of new emotions developing in him. The transition, more of transformation of his emotion was fast since its progress was not much revealed to the readers but the result wasn’t that abrupt. XD

Hmm, this isn’t actually much of a problem but as a reader, I am also expecting a “knot” at the “loose ends”. I mean, what happened to Gaara? But that isn’t important now, haha! I mean, there are obvious results regarding Gaara: either he let’s go or he grips even harder. So it’s okay not to state anything about that. Haha!

Now, let me turn to the full story:
The plotline is simple and predictable. But the story being predictable is fine as long as the way it’s narrated is great! The story being predictable is different from it being foolishly predictable. (My story is predictable too, and so is my favorite romantic fan fiction.) And to tell you, a story being utterly “unpredictable” is not nice either. It creates damn confusion and it makes the reader tired of endless twists.

I am digressing. Hm, in my opinion, you should at least add “more story”. Creatively looping the story around emotions is nice but for me, a little bit more of a story wouldn’t hurt. A little part (if you prefer still to focus on emotions) that will not circle on that single sentiment of the protagonist. Well, it all depends on focus really. XD And it depends on your style too.

The pacing (I’m not tired of repeating this statement) is great, only the story is fast. Still, this connects to the “more story” thing.

Or in my other point of view, the story really is fast because it’s short (nothing against that). Only, as I’ve observed, there are chapters spent only in delving on emotions that are already stated before. Creating one full chapter for an emotion that is thoroughly emphasized is lovely but remember to add things other than that. (Hm, I think that’s about the “inferior me” thing. But there’s also a human side shown there… Being human, one repeats the same lie to oneself. Wah! Now I’m confused.) I’ve said this before…in one chapter review. @_@ (I think Confessions became mushy because of too much emotions…) Or maybe what I meant was, that one chapter could at least be coupled with another chapter. Instead of two chapters, they would have been better off as one to balance the effect. You see, when readers are confronted with emotional lines, they usually want to know what will be the effect of those lines to the next action of the character. (Rawr, do you understand this babbling goose? I don’t know how to explain it exactly.) But there are times when authors also use emotions as a way for a nice cliffie. XD

Don’t mind me. After all, this review is just the point of view of one person. There are GREAT authors around who could give you a better review. I think mine is silly and confusing because I am an amateur myself. XD Not all I have stated here are totally correct, I still need to learn and progress like you do.

I do recommend two stories for you to read. I love them and I worship the two authors behind them. I hope they could help you better than I did--if ever I did help you.

Irresistible Poison by Rhysenn (a slash—yaoi in Japanese fiction. Draco and Harry—my favorite romantic fiction. Category of Harry Potter.)
Rock the Boat by Atropos’ Knife (comedy! No pairing. Category of Get Backers)

P.S. Actually, all of these are based on your style. If you have defined your style, you can ignore all of these and still make a GREAT fiction. Let us develop our skills and be called writers!

Reader: For some reason, I laughed when I read Gaara and Neji’s abrupt actions and words. Maybe I’m a sadist. XD No, I just love how you portrayed the emotions, words and actions of Gaara. Also, I liked the way Neji assumed things. And he’s so numb man! I love him! XD I mean, he knew Hinata liked him so why ask if she was jealous or what. Haha! No, this is not a bad comment! I just am fond of people’s numbness. Haha! The poem is ever nice. I envy you. *nods* You’ve read My Lady right? It sucks in one way I can not specify—at least in my point of view. *sobs*

Reviewer: As I’ve said, the description is indeed well done. XD (yay!) The flow is getting better because the emotions are getting paired up with life—action and description. Plus, the emotions are human and are new. They create fresh interest among the readers. XD

Reader: “A passion killing me softly in mixed delight and ache never to part” I love this line. XD Anyway, my very first reaction when I reached the last part was: “Ang bilis! Ang bilis!” Yeah, I said that out loud to myself. Haha! :D Oh the bonding? I DID enjoy, thank you very much for inviting me. XD XD XD

Reviewer: I still am amazed by your pacing! (Bakit ‘di ko kayang bagalan?) And though you give simple description of actions, it fits the pacing and the flow of the very story. Just great. :D

Reader: Hihi! I agree with Neji’s point of view of the admirer and of Hinata, though I understand Hinata as well. XD Hey, I just realized that Gaara and I are in the same situation. Not that I like someone, it’s just that I keep on repeating the same: “she’s not worth it” line in different ways to someone who is madly (and I mean, foolishly mad) in love (according to him, but I don’t think so) with a friend of mine. XD I know, I might appear to be a backstabber but I am seeing their situation in an unbiased way.

Reviewer: I’ll pass. XD I must read more to give a better, constructive review.

Reader: Haha, nice, the humanity of Hinata spilled with the word “hate”. Humanity, for me, is the most beautiful aspect of a story. XD Oh and yeah, rejection is very, very painful. (sob)

Reviewer: The description of emotions is good. However, delving in the same emotions repeatedly creates a dragging effect. But if you really intend that, equalize sentiments with actions. Since this is a love story, I understand the emphasis on emotions anyway. XD But then, I repeat, if that emotion is the very theme of the story, add more life, yeah, that’s the statement. (I am not judging based solely on this chapter. I’m seeing the view from the first to this.)