Reviews for Blue - FanFiction.Net

Reviews For: Blue

XxS. DragonxX 2008-06-22 ch 1,	abuseYou evil person...you made me cry! Anyway, I love your writing style, I wish my stuff was this good. It's like I could just feel everything that was going on. I thought the parts with the rain were brilliant. I'm adding this to my favorites. ^_^
Pied Flycatcher 2007-05-12 ch 1,	abuseWow, I like this. Very strong imagery and emotion; it feels more like poetry than prose. The meaning comes across more in the feel and the flow of the words rather than concrete description. So much abstractness can get a little confusing, but I still enjoyed the beauty of the writing. Nice job. :)
unwinding fantasy 2007-04-07 ch 1,	abuseYou love concrit, I love giving it. Sounds like the beginning of a beautiful relationship. ^_- So in chronological order: - "him- the new angel-" -- This is just a matter of opinion but I think it's easier to read if you add some spaces before the dashes. - "The little boy was nothing… nothing…" -- More preferences on my part, but here I'd add some exclamation marks, make the statements sound more vehement. I'd imagine Kuja feeling furious at having his place usurped. (Do love his evil little smile as he skulks off to plot, though.) - "...they could all die and they wouldn’t [even] know [it]." -- Think Kuja's inner voice sounds more scathing this way. At the moment he seems too apathetic. - "The end of all things, where the screaming, howling things in the abyss that came from the nothing and lived in it like gnats on methane-grunge." -- This is a half-sentence. You describe the "things" beautifully but don't complete the thought. Apart from this... My, you have a wonderful way with words! I especially love the phrase "curdled soul" -- it so perfectly describes how filthy Kuja must feel -- and also "Red on white, red on blue," which is disturbing in its simplicity. I enjoyed how you portrayed Kuja as one who believed he was doing the world a favour by bringing destruction. Many people fall into the trap of depicting him as cruel/bloodthirsty, forgetting the key piece of info Hilda gives: he is polite. He's just a misguided soul, the sad thing being by the time he realises he was wrong it is too late. I felt you managed to capture his mindset in this fic. Sorry, I'm babbling -- bad habit of mine! But yeah, suffice to say this was a pleasure to read. ~Aqua~
Sannya 2007-03-10 ch 1,	abuseA good fic indeed. I like the way you describe Kuja as a fallen angel. Up there ^ they've talked about all the good things :\| So there's nothing left for me to say about the bright side. There's something I want to tell. Somehow I feel as if you're missing something, that Kuja is not 'Kuja' enough, for me. You only focus on his ambitition and desire to be significant and powerful. That's not enough to lead him to his fall. Perhaps his loneliness and pain should be mentioned. Just a minor thing: Kuja is a black magic user, then how come he could cast Curaga on Ziddy? P.S. Thanks for your comment :) And have you recieved my reply? I'm not sure if my connection was good enough for my reply to reach its destination.
Myshu 2007-02-25 ch 1,	abuse[An ex-angel of death, one curdled- wasted; a thing that should have never been made. And he’d killed the soulful as if they were soulless, seeking to end a pain that they didn’t hold.] This is the most beautiful Kuja fic I've ever read, and I feel like that line pulls it all together--that and the rain--the rain was brilliantly strung along. I love Kuja's thoughts on the origins of his soul and his attitude towards killing, both doubtful and evolving as circumstances keep changing his plans. And then the end, very tragic, everything very... Kuja. It was lovely prose without going overboard; I could understand what was going on perfectly well. I don't care for Kuja much either (I prefer my heroes, brave and fun and lovable), but this was worth the read.
KivaEmber 2007-02-25 ch 1,	abuseLoved it, I think it showed Kuja's point of view very well. ^^ keep it up. KE
Lucrecia LeVrai 2007-02-24 ch 1,	abuseUnlike you, I /do/ care about Kuja, so much that I even help running a Kuja-centric C2 on this site. And I'm adding your fic to this C2 straight away. :) I'm not too sure about people who don't give a damn about this white-haired guy, but I know that his fans will most definitely /enjoy/ your story, just like I did. :) Bah. Concrit, you say? Is there anything I could possibly criticize here? It's true that at first I was quite apprehensive about the writing style you used, namely, lots of short sentences broken into way too many paragraphs. I generally don't like this form of narration, because it automatically makes me suspect the writer's either too lazy, or too unskilled to create regular, well-worded descriptions. (I base these suspicions on my own experience: most fics that are written this way happen to be rather poor works.) Your story, however, has quickly convinced me that this style can also turn out incredibly good, assuming the writer knows what s/he is doing. :) Each of your sentences strikes the reader a new blow, and I realize it's not only because of the contents and/or the words you used, but also because of the spaces between them. I liked the final effect very much. What we have here is a piece of powerful, emotional writing. I could really feel Kuja's regret and his earlier indifference towards killing. You kept him in character and made sure the reader could sympathize with him at the same time. The change he undergoes at the end, from a cold, self-assured murderer to a resigned man who knows he has wasted his entire life, seemed very plausible to me, the way you put it. Heck, I had real tears in my eyes as I read the final few sentences. (But that's probably because I'm just a bit emotionally unstable from the constant lack of sleep in the past few days. :P As touching as it might be, fanfiction does /not/ make me cry... too... often. :D) Here's one of my favorite bits: "He stood, watching as death fell- so, the second angel was triumphant. Did that mean that he could have killed death, too? Slowly, his breath hot, his mind was crawling with a thousand little mage hats and genome writhing tails. Had he been wrong? Had they held the same fears that he had? Had he... Hah." Mhm, perfect. So much information in only a few words. :) I liked the chronological inconsistency at the beginning of your story, and the only thing I regretted was the fact that there was no fourth part to all that going back in time. I kind of expected you to show us a time when Kuja was still innocent, when things like death didn't hold much interest or meaning to him. But then again, was there even such a time in his life? Last but not least, I /absolutely loved/ everything you wrote about Kuja's soul, his own musings about his past life, his former identity: "The light had hurt his eyes- the blue of it, the harshness and the sharpness. Terra had been so sterile. What had Garland expected to grow? Handless, heartless monsters? Lazy warmongers... wonderful inventors... people who would not remember living, just as he couldn't remember his past life. He wasn't a new soul. He had been someone else... Garland had taken one from the back of the line; a shopkeeper or a reader or a writer or a- a something. Something experimental and curdled and sour. He owned a curdled soul and didn't remember the last time it had lived..." It's very similar to my own thoughts on this subject, and I still plan to write a fic about Kuja's remembered past life. Bah. It all makes perfect sense, doesn't it? :) In any case, many thanks for creating this beautiful story, and then sharing it with us. Sorry for the lack of concrit. Write a worse fic next time, then I'll be able to criticize it. ;)

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