Not bad. Yes, it's an interesting scene you've got going on here. You might want to do some research on combat martial arts, and shooting, but I think most of it is coming out fine. Would you mind writing another chapter? I'd like to read it. Maybe something involving all six characters getting together? And what happened to the cute secretary? :-D All-in-all, not bad. :-)

i like your story (-)

All right... Where's the REST of it, Rhina-hime? *stomps one foot in an exceedingly pouty fashion* C'mon, trot it out. I wanna SEE!

Never thought of Sally and Duo together - interesting, very interesting. Please write about chocolate sauce SOON!

i must say that these are very interesting pairings.so who do you pair Hilde with? (please don't say Quatre.) anyway...keep writing! thanks.