   beeftony
2008-01-21 . chapter 8Before I begin this review, I would just like to say that it was an honor to pre-read this latest monster of an episode and that I’d love to do it again. The top-tier quality of your work inspires me to do better in my own writing, and even though it sometimes seems like no one’s reading your stories, let me just tell you that those of us who do enjoy it very, very much.
Since this latest entry is so staggeringly huge that I couldn’t even begin to cover every single point, I'll just hit upon the things that stood out the most to me. Which is still a lot, mind you. ;)
I have but one true complaint, and I'll put it first so that I can spend the rest of this review singing your praises, which you so deserve. It has to do with what exactly happened between the end of episode two and the first scene with Kim and Ron in this episode. You left a lot of things blank, not the least of which is what exactly happened that evening when Kim came home to find Ron in the foyer. Did she retreat to her room? Yell at him? Run him out of the house? What exactly happened? The absence of these details is conspicuous enough for me to label it a plot hole, but I'll let it slide since the rest of this episode is so amazingly well-written.
I like the opening sequence a great deal, if only for the absolutely hilarious concept of Motor Ed spending time with Buddhist monks. Seriously funny! Seriously. The entire Motor Ed plot arc is incredibly well-scripted, filled with intriguing original characters (Hog is incredibly well-developed, and I laughed out loud during every scene that featured Dorothy), adrenaline-pumping action, and enough techno-babble to qualify this episode as educational in nature. It’s been said that the best science fiction is based off of existing science fact, and the concept of the cyber-robotic Roadster is grounded enough in reality that I can almost see it happening in real life.
Hog has to be one of my favorite OC’s of yours. He is very well-developed, and his character traits are both appealing and well-rounded enough that I nearly forgot he wasn’t part of the cast of KP—you inserted him that seamlessly. I also like the twist you employed where Wander is actually a future version of Hog rather than Sensei, which I suspect you wanted us to assume. I found his backstory to be particularly interesting, and I liked the observation you made about the American business system. I suspect that all of this is coming from personal experience, though I hope the motorcycle accident is fictional and didn’t actually happen to you. That would suck. ;)
I also like the development you applied to Brick. Making him mechanically inclined instead of just portraying him as a dumb jock demonstrates that everyone has a talent, just in different areas. This experience literally changes his life, giving him the confidence to do something other than just playing it safe and doing what other people tell him. The scene where he is in the front seat of the Roadster with Motor Ed is a major turning point for his character, and I think that Ed’s line about never achieving your goals if you don’t try just because someone says it might be risky sums up the message of this story arc quite nicely.
Speaking of Motor Ed, I think you’ve got another potential nominee for Best Minor Character on your hands here. He’s always been more about the thrill of the job rather than the “evil” side of things, and is a man who will stop at nothing to achieve his goals. I always found intriguing the fact that Ed is far more intelligent than his appearance would lead any outside observers to believe. He’s a genius who doesn’t play by any rules but his own. You forgot one thing, though: where were the air guitar solos? They’re an essential part of Motor Ed’s character, though you’ve applied enough development to him that it’s really a non-issue.
I found Dr. Renton’s reason for staying with Motor Ed despite the fact that she was about to be rescued to be particularly intriguing, and I like the way you developed her from a one-shot character into a full-fledged person complete with strengths and weaknesses. I’ve always admired your ability to take characters that no one cared about the first time around and turn them into someone with whom the audience can identify.
The only character in this episode that I didn’t feel strongly towards was Jig. You presented her well enough, but I never really felt any connection to her as a character. This is probably because the development on all of the other characters was so great that I was left feeling disappointed when it came to her parts. Again, you didn’t do anything wrong, she just sort of got lost in the shuffle of more interesting characters. Same with Axel.
Moving on to the next major story arc, I must say that the Kim/Ron scenes are among the most dramatic, poignant, and realistic emotional scenes I’ve ever come across in fiction. The positions of both parties are very well-presented, and I can honestly say that I don’t know who to side with, because I don’t believe that either of them was right to do what they did. You actually made me sad that they broke up, which is very hard to do given the amount of K/R breakups I’ve read and written.
Your treatment of Ron in this chapter is absolutely incredible, and you balanced his flaws well enough with his good traits that I actually still like him in this story, despite all the stupid mistakes he’s made. Then again, as Monique pointed out to Kim, his character is defined by his tendency to act like a complete idiot. So perhaps I’ve gotten used to him being a buffoon, in this story at least. It’s a welcome break from all the serious portrayals that usually accompany stories of this nature.
I like your explanation for Ron’s dating behavior as having achieved his immediate goal and believing that he can now regress back to what he used to be, not realizing that stepping up requires him to stay at the new height he’s achieved rather than trying to evade responsibility. Ironically enough, it is not this that costs him his relationship with Kim, but rather his misguided attempt to fix this fatal flaw that both detracts from and at the same time ultimately defines his character. He tries to become a person who is willing to face his problems rather than running from them, but what he doesn’t realize is that he has no hope of achieving that goal on his own. He doesn’t need to protect Kim, nor does he need to escape her shadow. If he ever wants to be with her again, he needs to realize that he should be letting her help him become a better person, not trying to do it on his own. One of the things that makes a successful couple is the fact that both partners plan their actions as a team, supporting each other rather than acting independently. Both Kim and Ron have yet to learn this, and it is the main reason that I remain skeptical of the K/R relationship. I have faith, however, that both Kim and Ron will eventually realize this truth and come out of this experience a stable and supportive couple.
Of course, Kim is partly to blame as well for the split. I always found it interesting how, despite how brave she is on her missions, she seeks to avoid social confrontation any way she can. Thus explaining why she finds it so hard to tell Ron how she feels: she doesn’t know how he’ll react, and that absolutely terrifies her because she hates being uncertain. Physical bravery is one thing, but emotions are a completely different animal and not everyone deals with them the same way. Kim, no matter how courageous she is in other pursuits, tends to hide from serious drama, hoping that things will work themselves out. What she doesn’t realize is that this is one thing she and Ron have in common, which means she’ll be waiting forever for Ron to realize how much he actually hurt her if she doesn’t at least try to tell him. But she’s also stubborn enough not to realize that. As a result, they broke up.
Yori’s portrayal in this chapter was impressive to say the least, and although it’s a bit disappointing to have her realize that she has no more chances with Ron, I suppose it fits her self-sacrificial nature well enough. At least it wasn’t a total cop-out like in “Big Bother.”
The mystical parts of this story are just as exhaustively well-written and entertaining as the scientific parts, a balance that the actual show never achieved. I like that you’ve taken Ron’s “power of imagination” and given him dream magic, which totally fits his character and develops it at the same time. It gives a true relevance to his mystical monkey power that, again, was never fully realized on the show. While the idea of dream magic itself may or may not be completely asinine, the internal rules you’ve established are consistent enough that I have no problem suspending my disbelief.
I am curious as to what role Amanda Veers will play in all this. I have a sneaking suspicion that she is the woman whom Ron encountered in episode one, when he was knocked unconscious from his duel with Yuudai-sensei. Or I could be totally wrong. Either way, I’m sure it will be interesting.
Now on to the more minor points. I like the whole “Phantom of the Opera” background plot you’ve got going on, as well as the major supporting roles you’ve given to Malcolm and Zita. Admittedly I’ve never read the play, but I have a sneaking suspicion of who the Phantom will be, which I’m keeping to myself as you’ll probably just change it on me if I’m right. Also, if I’m wrong, I’m the only one who will ever know. ;)
The conversation between Kim and Jennifer Cartwright (whose last name I just realized is a nod to Nancy Cartwright, Rufus’ VA) was interesting, as was her subsequent discussion with Dr. Director. The latter’s observations on Rick were very revealing, and help to explain his behavior earlier in the episode, namely his not feeling the need to divulge his true role in all this, playing largely ignorant instead. I am interested to know more about Rick’s GJ days, as well as whether or not he was the one who picked up Hog in 1970. But I suppose that all will be revealed in time.
I liked the running gag with Brick and the dead horse. It made me laugh.
I enjoyed the character of Ulrich Cotton, especially his lax attitude about being possibly sucked into a black hole. Hilarious.
The end of this episode was truly delicious, and I’m interested in seeing Ken’s reaction upon finding out that Shego has aged 50 years.
Anyway, I enjoyed reading this and I hope that you won’t take nearly as long to update this time. Good luck! :D
beeftony |
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