I THINK YOU SHOULD CONTINUE RIGHT NOW! Go to and then go to the link for XII. Then look up the script, and read it! I know for a fact that it is very hard to beat the game.
What I'm trying to say is...YOUR STORY IS GREAT! YOU SHOULD CONTINUE pLEASE!

I know why you ruined it, but still...YOU RUINED HER MOMENT! You'd better make up for it in the future.

Ciol!

COOL! I want more!

Boo! Just when it was getting complicated! GRR! I think you should keep this one. its quite good. but, still! BO!

No i think you should keep up with that story.it goes very well.please continue

I personally wouldn't delete it but the choice is all yours... But for a bit of advice I would find a game script somewhere to use for a reference. I like how you improvise on the conversations yourself but sometimes you leave out some lines that I think are just needed there. Like when Vossler dies for example. The party didn't even really seem to take much notice. They just went on with their lives as if it didn't really matter. lol anyways, Keep Writing!

great story! good luck with the game!

Deleting is NOT an option, especially this far into it.
I wrote a story for Final Fantasy X-2 before I finished it, and 36 chapters later it still isn't done, though I've long finished the game. Many of the chapters have a gap of 3 months or more, sometimes.
If you decide to keep on with the game and pause the story, remember to re-read what you've already written several times before you write the next chapter. in fact, read the whole story yourself. I neglected to do that on many chapters and missed some key developements. for example, in one chapter a character died, and I enevr mentioned that character's death again, even though I could have. Linking chapters, making them all flow and make sense, is something I'm not entirely good at but anyways...
Keep at it. It should't take you long ot finish the game, and i can tell you you're going to LOVe the ending

Hehehehehehee...I love chapter 3's "fluffiness."

Don't delete this and start over... its really good!

I can understand your wish to finish the game first. That's fine. And if you finish it and want to start over, go for it, but I like the way it is thus far. If anything, you could simply edit chapters.

Finish the damn game soon!! LOL how long have you been playing it? I finished it in less than two weeks. *nerd*

Aww it's so cute at the end!

I find that the scripts you used aren't exactly from the game, but rather you wrote your own takes on the cutscenes. It isn't wrong, but I just thought that's pretty creative on your part.

The fight scene, once again, stayed true to the battle system.

I like this story, it kind of reminds me of mine XD. Update soon!

Great battle, it stayed very true to how the battle system of the game was, so good job on that part.

Oh the little A/N note you made when you first mentioned Vossler was hilarious haha, you forgot about him until the battle ^_^

Okay Imma go read the next chapter now.

Great chapters and great interactions, and I think that Ashe is quick to come on to Balthier c(=

I liked your depictions of how the four met in the Waterway, it made sense. But in the game I thought they first met when Ashe was by herself and was surrounded by enemies...

Meh oh well, I'm off to read the next chapter! c(=

You're story is really good. But, as a little bit of critique (or however that's spelled), you may want to stray a little bit from the storyline/walkthrough. My opinion, sorry. But keep writing! And the damn jellies suck! Just run away from them or cast a buttload of quickenings. I ran away from them, they're not something you have to do. Ok, good luck!