So, so true, and so said. Especially the JE syndrome. I don't think it's just Jareth, though - every verse seems to have someone with said eyes. Wonka had violet eyes, Frodo has big beautiful blue eyes (which would get points for alliteration if it weren't so overused), Snape has black/onyx/ebony eyes. Someday, I want to read about a love interest with squinty, dull-brown, down-right-ugly-and-fully-solid eyes. (Really, whenever I read "liquid" eyes, I imagine the person tipping his/her head forward and have said eyes come dribbling out.)

Sorry, minor rant there. But really, excellent essay; love the footnotes no matter how inconvient they are (scroll down, scroll up, scroll down, scroll up . . .)

"Through careful study, I have discovered that whenever one must describe Jareth, and most importantly: his eyes, one MUST, at some point, use the term 'mismatched eyes.' "

LOL! GUILTY! I used that in my first fan fic, realized how stupid it was, and never used it again.

L.M.A.O

I like this better than the first.

Re: Jareth's Eyes: Yes, I quite agree with you. In any case they aren't even different colours- it just happens that the pupil of his left eye is permenently enlarged, giving that impression to the casual observer.

Part 2...
Someone said below they didn't see a difference in Jareth's eyes. They ARE 2 different colors.
As a matter of fact, I think the David's eyes ARE different colors in real life, if I'm correct...

:-)
Trying hard not to laugh..damn you are SO right. Some of the stories have gotten repetitious and the really GOOD/Original writers get lost in the mix!
If I read another damn story about Sarah being angry at the Goblin King...'or he's the enemy!'
Gr...

Amber: *evil smirk* NO CUTE FACES! MWAHAHAHAHHA! Well, erm, unfortunately, Sarah is reading over my shoulder and, erm, getting out her special butcher knives so yeah, run. Now. Fast. Have a nice day! *distant voice* See? SEE? I made a little face! n_n

Jareth: O_O

ARGH! I AM GUILTY! *shudders* Yikes, I just realized with your second footnote, I haven't even gotten farther, because I had to confess my guilt as to staring into the mirror, wondering why life sucks so much for her! Forgive me, please! Yikes, I feel the fingers pointing at me! Even though this was written before I became hooked. This should be the guide to everyone even *considering* writing ANY type of fanfiction. You know, we try to be original, but it never works! Okay, I'm going to continue reading now... Yikes, are we all so terrible? I just finished it, and feel like taking a dip in the BOES! That's one thing I never understood, with the mismatched eyes... where did that come from? They both looked the same color to me in the movie!

Continuing with suggestions that run rampant in my own stories, and those of others. Ummm... Like someone mentioned in anothe review, the tights. Always the tights. And his hair is *always* soft and fine. He's a king, why shouldn't it be? Even if it looks like it has been hair-sprayed within an inch of it's life. *ducks as Jareth casts her an evil glare* Well it's true! Oh, and his sculpted face, pale as moonlight, blah blah blah yackety-schmackety. It's so hard to be original, though.

Ah, what about recurring, redundant, and basically done to death phrases? "Such a pity" about them all, you know? "It's not fair" that we must all be subjected to them, over and over, even in our own stories. BLAME THE MUSES! IT'S ALL THEIR FAULT! WE WOULD WRITE GOOD, ORIGINAL FIC IF NOT FOR THEM! *hides under table as her muse throws a fan blade at her* Yikes, chill out! *shakes her head and crawls back out* Well, that's all for now, I'll write more after I finish Inimitability III. By the way... what does that mean? I'll have to look it up.

Omg, that is sooo true...then again, i luv all those sappy romances, so as much as i agree with you, i'll keep reading them. and so will you- only for the sake of research, of course. ;-)

i didn't exactly understand this. wasn't it supposed to be a story?

either way...um, good job! :o)

Can't explain the JE effect, but you can certainly blame me for it. ( I'm getting a sinking suspicion that I created a lot of these bad trends 5 years ago... lol! ) Keep it up! Oh, and add all the "it's not fair" references that we love to throw into the stories we write. I couldn't even stand it when Sarah said it in the movie! :) heh.

Oh, poor me! *clutches side* I do believe I giggled much too hard...this was spectacularly funny. Precious few things on FF.net make me *really* laugh, yet this succeeded without serious effort. However, I feel the need to check *my* Laby story...*shudders*...please, PLEASE let me have avoided the JE effect...*sigh*

*bows down in appreciation of the only other person (seemingly) to have discovered the redundancies that have posessed the fic supply* hopefully, we can get the overused-plotline-exorcist in here to fix it...but somehow i doubt it. ah well, acknowledgement is the first step towards rehab.

You have waaaaay too much time on your hands, you knew that, right?... Anybody want a smoked turkey sandwich? In any case, Quite amusing, as usual. :P

::giggling evilly::

I think I heard my CAT snickering! this is VERY funny! And good!