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| BlackWolfHowling 2007-07-24 ch 22,  | abuseIt's not very clear. |
| totally confused 2007-07-17 ch 2, anon. | abuseum, this is like a story kind of deal, like youre supposed to write how you would write a book. what youre doing is like writing a play or something. and idk who the characters really are. if you wrote it like a story, lets take your first chapter for example. Down in [setting of story], everything had been quiet. the rangers were able to enjoy themselves like the normal teenagers everyone thought them to be. No one suspected that shy and sweet Laina was really the (for ex.) pink ranger and the super cute jock Adam was the red ranger, both of them protecting the universe from harm. Nonetheless, this was true and Laina and Adam were happy they were not kicking evil butt at that moment, and they got some time to themselves. unfortunately, things didn't stay quiet all that long. as adam and laina were strolling through the park together, grotesque five face monsters attack the rangers. "What are they?" Laina asked, taken aback by the monsters unsightly appearances. "Not sure," Adam said, wondering what the monsters were himself. Suddenly, Mary Fairborne, [whoever she is] came out of hiding and exclaimed, "I'll tell you what they are, Dead Meat! Let's get 'em!" and so on and so forth. that way you can narrate and your story won't be so confusing, because honestly, i wasn't so sure of what was going on. good luck on editing your story, and maybe i'll check back in to see how its progressing. =] |
| BlackWolfHowling 2007-06-18 ch 19, | abuseIt's okay I guess. Doesn't make much sense, though. |
| BlackWolfHowling 2007-06-09 ch 18, | abuseThis isn't very clear. You jump around and it's confusing. |
| BlackWolfHowling 2007-05-20 ch 16, | abuseI don't get that last sentence. |
| BlackWolfHowling 2007-05-19 ch 15, | abuseInteresting I guesse. |
| BlackWolfHowling 2007-04-18 ch 10, | abuseWell, parts don't make sense, but all in all it's good. |
| Red shadow Ranger 2007-03-10 ch 1, | abusei'm confused. Is there meant to be things from Power Rangers SPD and Dino Thunder. And write is as a story. Its more like a play. |