I really enjoyed reading your story. Naoko's pokemon - Vermin was it? - is a very adorable creature. lol
Char is very Charizard-ish, as Naoko's father said.
I hope you will update this story! (You only have 2 chapters!~!!)

O, characters are really fleshed out in a good way.

Good to see you used some japanese names, too.

One thing I may point out about this, is that, although you needed every single paragraph to make descriptions and dialogues, I kinda note this chapter, to be the first one, is quite long.

Other thing is that it would be good if you start a new paragraph after a character speaks, just to avoid confusion, I got confused a few times, but ´Tis okay.

My Rating:

7.8/10

Get this on, it has potential.

HIYA! I love your story. Char seems.. well...cute to say the least. I swear most of the chapter had me in a giggle fit. I know most reviews are for saying stuff someone needs to fix, but i cant think of anything. It seems fine the way it is, and i cant wait for the next chapter to come out. Also Satoshi is Ash Ketchum right? I dont know his Japanese name or whatever. Well i hope the next chapter comes out soon. Oh and um...would it be okay if one of my characters could be in your story? If not thats okay, i just would like to read more of the story. But if its alright could you let me know? Well anyway, great story can't wait for the next chapter. BYE!!*smiles and waves*