Poor Riza: does she always get visitors while she's bathing?

The metaphore of floating just above the surface is a very effective one: it accurately portrays the situation... and there's something almost eerie about it.

I REALLY hope something like this happens soon! I can't take much more suspense from the manga!

The last line really drove home the whole point of the present struggle. Well done!

Beautiful.

*Noddles* I wonder what's going to happen in the manga with Mustang's group..

Man, I feel for Riza. I'm never freaking relaxed. Unless I'm passed out on the couch, but that's another story. As for your fic, I really loved the imagery of her unwilling to completely submerge into the bathtub. Even though I could see this developing into a longer story, I like how you've written about Riza and her thought processes. It flowed nicely, anyway. Cool fic.

Did I somehow miss this update? It's a good thing I was cleaning out files I had saved to read. Nice suspense on Riza's part. When Breda showed up I half expected it to be some sort of crazed foe of hers. It's a nice prelude that could fit nonchalantly at any part of the cannon universe.

Wonderful analogies and a quite open (but still wonderful in its own way) ending. I do like what could happen for them, but somehow, this felt very dry and not very empathic. I didn't get much feeling for her, except for the fact she was afraid to duck her head under the water for fear of missing something.

hm, it says complete, but it feels like its not over...so pray tell, is it over?

if not, i'm looking forward to the next installment.

if it is over, i don't know, it just seemed to end so abruptly. although it does fit riza spot on. not even being able to relax while she's in the bathroom.

anyway, yeah, sorry it took me so long to come and read it. it's hell week, i swear.

P'(

emo roy says hi :)

This is good, are you going to continue it?

Unheard

Great story and metaphor! I can completely relate with the bathtub thing. I never can close my eyes in the tub. Feel so vulnerable, you know?

I also like what this morphed into by the end. Not very long but it covered a wide range of storyline and I didn't expect the finale at all.

Good read and I'll keep checking for new stuff.

Great writing (no surprises there)! I know I can't wait for this time to come in the manga - Mustang's subordinates just aren't the same when they're all separated like that.

And as an aside, when I read the line where you said Breda's cheeks were as green as if he'd just swallowed a mouthful of bugs, I was suddenly reminded of a dream I had several nights ago. For some reason, I had to stuff my mouth full of HUMONGOUS bugs, all squirming and snapping (they were some kind of beetle with huge pincers) *shudders*

Anyway, another good story! Keep up the good work _

i like the metaphor.. and for me, minor spoilers i guess. but it's okay.. very very well done.. very very descriptive.. keep it up.!

Erinn

Wicked awesome, Dailenna.

I really love the idea of this. :)

The metaphor really does suit her so well. Nice little oneshot thing. Unless it isn't a oneshot, in which case...write more, please. ;

the metaphore with the water surface is awesome and fits hawkeye perfectly ! congratulation